Uploads from listorama, tagged nonsense

20040903_4878...Unclogging the toilet

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 20:47:13 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

A clogged toilet is annoying, but is easily unclogged with the proper tools. My first method of attack utilizes a wooden mallet (hammers often crack the porcelain). If the savage blows of a mallet do not get rid of the problem, I next try drilling a hole through the clogging material. This allows water to better saturate the offending material, leading to an impressive “relaxation” of the blockage, followed by a successful flush.

However, those methods are sometimes not sufficient to clear the flushing channel. At those times I rely on specialized tools such as beeswax, pliers, and scissors. On one occasion I had to use a box cutter.

I hope to better describe such work by posting a video of the activity. Stay tuned.

20061027_9738...Bleach and elbow grease work wonders

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 19:33:42 -0800

listorama posted a photo:

Dirty sandstone depresses, dismays, and disgusts me. During my trips to Moab I have endured all manner of dirty sandstone: red sandstone, orange sandstone, yellow sandstone, purple sandstone, and gray sandstone. Only one word adequately describes that stuff: UGLY.

On one trip to Moab I went prepared to rectify the situation and the result is shown here. Armed with industrial-grade bleach, buckets of elbow grease, and a wire brush, I did some "cleaning." The casual viewer might ask "Why did he start half-way down this outcrop rather than at the top? The answer lies in my adherence to the teachings of my spiritual guru (the Bhagwan Hotair Windbag of Antelope). He preaches that "to advance spiritually, one must begin at the bottom of the spiritual ladder and work one's way up to a more exalted condition."

Thus I started cleaning at the bottom of this sandstone outcrop and worked my up. The casual viewer might also ask "Why did he stop where he did, leaving the job unfinished?" The answer is threefold:
1. My wire brush was worn out
2. I was exhausted physically even though I was pumped up spiritually
3. It dawned on me that leaving a bold line of demarcation would show the effectiveness of my work, thus inspiring others to join me in this worthy endeavor.

Of course, I need to return to complete the job. When I do I'll bring extra brushes. I won't need any more bleach or elbow grease because there was a lot left over and I stashed it nearby (cryptobiotic crust make great camouflage!). I just might change the focus of my trips to Moab from "hiking" to "cleaning." So much dirt, so little time…

Naturally I cannot divulge the exact location because that might lead to theft of my elbow grease ($$$), but I can reveal that this is a short distance outside of Arches National Park, east of the ridge containing Delicate Arch Viewpoint. Geotagging is merely approximate for this reason.

20070318_2997...Arches NP: "straight drainage"

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 20:01:54 -0800

listorama posted a photo:

Every now and then I post a photo merely to stop the onslaught of requests for more information about a geographic feature. Such is the case here. I have been besieged with bazillions of e-mails, Flickr messages, and telegrams. My e-mail provider has threatened to double my subscription cost because of the volume of traffic to my account.

The feature in question, which is appears in the huge panorama above is what I call the "straight drainage" for lack of an official name. It is a gently-sloping feature in Arches National Park that is---guess what?---straight. It lies at the base of a sandstone wall of varying height and might be the result of erosion along a fault line. I labeled its lower and upper ends with notes on the image. This view, taken from Panorama Point or thereabouts, includes Delicate Arch at far right. At far left is the shadowy canyon of Salt Wash. The upper end of the straight drainage is at the center of this WikiMapia aerial view. In the largest image, it's possible to just barely discern hikers on their way to Delicate Arch.

When I took the photos making up this panorama I immediately heard the drainage call to me, so I planned from that moment to explore it. A year later, in May 2008, I answered the call and walked its entire length. I hiked up to Delicate Arch, then back-tracked a bit, left the trail, and hiked cross-country to reach the upper end of the drainage. Then I followed the drainage to its lower end when it meets the canyon precipice of Salt Wash. It was easy walking the whole way. The "straight drainage" set doesn't have many photos because the area lacks eye-popping scenery.

I disavow any knowledge of exaggerating, shading the truth, or telling a tall tale. Likewise with any intention to fib, mislead, or con my viewers. In addition, I disavow any knowledge of posting the photo simply because I like it.

This panorama was made with PTGui from 12 hand-held images.
(2997, 3000, 3003, 3006, 3009, 3012, 3015, 3018, 3020, 3023, 3026, and 3029)

20120914_2932...Re-charging my battery

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 01:06:57 -0800

listorama posted a photo:

The Green Weenie gets its battery recharged merely by standing next to a communications building, the site of copious amounts of electromagnetic radiation. Shortly after taking this picture I developed a gaussache.

I lied. My car's battery was not affected and I did not get a gaussache.

Photographed at the communications facility on the west side of US 191 south of Crescent Junction, Utah.

20120916_3555...Jim tries to push air into the tire

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 19:40:49 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

Jim Doss (w9jim) and I did some exploring in Arches National Park, mostly by Jeep. We saw Eye of the Whale Arch, Tower Arch, an unnamed arch just south of Tower Arch, and Anniversary Arch.

Here, outside the park near the west end of Willow Springs Road, Jim decided that his tires were too soft and tried his best to push air into each tire. His finger got pretty sore during this wasted effort. I offered to push the air in myself, but since I was his guest, he would not allow me to strain myself. The rest of the day was a bust because of his sense of frustration.

I lied. I did not offer to help. I knew it was a waste of time to push air in with one's finger (it can only be done with the thumb!). I merely watched and took pictures.

I lied again. Jim was letting air out of his tires to get better traction on the rough roads.

Unedited photo uploaded from Moab, Utah. 30%

20090513_6634...FLICKR INFRASTRUCTURE: R&D laboratory

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Sun, 08 Jul 2012 23:09:28 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

Advances in science and technology often come out of research and development efforts. Flickr management, eager to increase the subscriber base, believes that supporting R&D---and the advances created thereby---is a way to increase the number of subscriptions and achieve larger profits (and management bonuses).

This particular idea factory is rumored to have been involved in numerous significant improvements to Flickr. Its crowning achievement is the large geotagging icon that obscures so much of an aerial image---for no apparent benefit! I have heard from reliable anonymous sources that this particular R&D site is working on a technology that will bring broadband connections to millions who are now deprived: operators of boats on Lake Mead, Lake Powell, and so on. The technology has something to do with waterproof fiber optic cable extension cords. The information sources cannot be named because they are not authorized to speak about it.

The location of this facility must remain confidential lest the area be invaded by hordes of television crews and newspaper reporters. However, by sheer co-incidence, there is a structure in La Grande, Oregon that looks very much like it (see map).

20120503_8001...Victim of psycho-aural energy

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Mon, 28 May 2012 22:58:21 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

Even the best-prepared persons can be caught off guard. Such was the case here. In this scene I am pinned against the wall of a pothole by an invisible force known as "psycho-aural energy." Let me explain.

While exploring the domes above Corona Arch I happened upon this cool pothole on the shoulder of a dome. Potholes fascinate me, so I walked down into it for a self-portrait.

However, I made the mistake of forgetting that some potholes in the area around Moab are not potholes at all, but giant aura cavities that can at any moment issue forth a blast of psycho-aural energy (PAE). Don't ask me to explain the stuff, because it goes over my head. The same phenomenon is mentioned in another photo and the nature of aura cavities is explained in yet another photo.

As I was preparing to photograph myself, the cavity suddenly and without warning erupted, sending a column of bright chartreuse PAE straight up. It doesn't show up because digital camera sensors cannot record it. The fratostatic pressure of the eruption threw me backwards into the wall of the "pothole." That I am alive to tell the tale is in part the result of my wearing a Tilley hat, made of thick cotton. It cushioned my head, lessening the force of the impact.

Needless to say---but I'll say it anyway---I was stunned. Yes, I was stunned. As the PAE beamed upward into space I was pinned against the rock, unable to move. Breathing was difficult. One of the buttons on my shirt turned to dust, just like blood and rubber did in the movie "The Andromeda Strain"! My bamboo hiking stick vibrated, creating a strange humming sound. An "energy" bar in a pants pocket became petrified---note how the pocket on my left leg sags from the weight. The energy of the blast also activated the infrared sensor on my camera, which tripped the shutter, producing this photo.

When the beaming ceased I slumped to the ground in a blubbering heap until I regained my senses. It was only then that I was able to retrieve my camera and verify that Joe Tripod (who supported my camera during this episode) was all right.

Once the episode was over I resumed my hike/scramble among the domes, eventually reaching my goal (a point above Bow Tie Arch). On the return hike I deliberately avoided this formation for fear of another eruption. One can endure only so much excitement in one day.

All photos taken this day were affected by my having accidentally set my camera's white balance setting to "fluorescent lighting." I only partially succeeded in correcting the weird colors of this and other photos

The cavity is at the center of this Bing Maps aerial view.

20120429_6408...A mass of Enlightenment

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Thu, 10 May 2012 12:20:12 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

YES!!! I finally achieved the elusive state of mind known as Enlightenment. It was wonderful.
(Details about my long journey to Enlightenment).

After lying motionless in this position for 7.2 hours---yes, I exceeded the 7.1-hour minimum!---I saw the Light / reached Nirvana / achieved Ultimate Knowledge / etc. My mind, having been emptied of all earthly thoughts (I didn't have many to start with), was suddenly filled with the realization that wearing a dark blue shirt on a sunny, hot day in the desert is not conducive to comfort. Sadly, the overpowering nature of this Awareness shocked me into consciousness. The spell was broken. I was unable to sustain the Wondrous Experience long enough to understand WHY wearing a dark blue shirt on a hot,sunny day in the desert is not conducive to comfort. Thus I must once again seek a Higher Plane of Existence to further my understanding of the universe.

This episode took place during a hike to a set of four large caves in the southwestern portion of Poison Spider Mesa. In the background is the enticing landscape of Amasa Back, a mass of exciting sandstone domes. While hiking on Amasa Back in 2011 I had seen the caves and heard them call to me. This hike was the answer to that call. Between my prone figure and Amasa Back is the Colorado River, about twoo hundred feet below.

In furtherance of my self-portraits---even during questionable activities such as this---Joe Tripod stood as still as the rock while holding my camera. He finds Enlightenment in Stillness.

This unedited photo was uploaded during a road trip.

20120422_3222...Breakfast in the middle of the road

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Wed, 02 May 2012 15:50:00 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

One of my life's goals has been to eat breakfast while sitting in the middle of the road. On April 22, 2012 I fulfilled that goal on the not-very-busy gravel road that encircles the north end of Floating Island, northeast of Wendover, Utah.

After dodging traffic for a while I sat down and calmly consumed my cereal. The enjoyment of the experience was tempered by the realization that at any moment a vehicle could go by, creating a cloud of dust that would add an undesirable taste to my breakfast. My worry was for naught, as no vehicles appeared and no dust was generated. In fact---and this is no surprise---the entire time I was at Floating Island, there were no other visitors at all. However, when I reached the summit later that day, I discovered a summit register (installed in 2011), and therein was an entry by "Preston T," dated the day before!

My photographic assistant, Ralph Tripod (on duty for shots close to the car), was unfazed by having to stand in the road. For him, it was just another piece of ground.

The original image was uploaded during a road trip and was not edited.
I replaced it later with an edited version.

20120915_3313...One good fix deserves another

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 16:49:40 -0800

listorama posted a photo:

Some criminals like to return to the scene of a crime so they can bask in the glory of their earlier triumph. In similar fashion, victims of SDS (Sandstone Deprivation Syndrome) are known to return to places that provided a memorable sandstone fix. (SDS is explained in horrific detail in a set devoted to the subject.)

The person appearing here obtained an earlier sandstone fix that was worth repeating. That earlier fix is shown in the photo below. The National Park Service is aware of this awful behavior but tolerates it as long as it takes place out of view of tourists, who are easily disgusted. Disgusted tourists tend not to return to disgusting places, which reduces the money taken in by the Park Service, which leads to cuts in staff, reduction of operating hours, and the eventual decline of Western Civilization.

Should you desire to risk life and limb (and reputation) to see this place for yourself, this WikiMapia aerial view will show where it is on the plateau next to and above Park Avenue in Arches National Park.. Reaching this location is not easy, so the "I've been there" factor will be significant.

Joe Tripod, noted for steadfast camera support even in the most demanding circumstances, aided this documentary effort.

Flickr Infrastructure: Purpose unknown

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 14:43:51 -0800

listorama posted a photo:

What the heck is this thing? All I know is that it is part of Flickr's vast infrastructure and is vital to Flickr's daily operation. I have yet to discover what it is and what it does. Is it under construction or in its final configuration?

My ignorance causes me great embarrassment because of my insight into the behind-the-scenes working of Flickr (see the other photos in the "Flickr Infrastructure" set). I hate not being able to provide details about Flickr's equipment!

Can anyone enlighten me about this "device"? The more information provided, the better. This is no place for silly ideas and theories, so please keep the comments serious. I do not want to hear about "fratostatic this" or "fratostatic that," as such terms indicate warped thinking from weak minds. Teamwork can solve many problems. Thanks in advance.

20061219_4896

20130117_6044...Finally---somebody shows some politeness!

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 21:00:14 -0800

listorama posted a photo:

I am appalled by all the mean-spirited writing I encounter every day. When I see a sign that gives a command without showing some respect, I get annoyed. It's so bad these days that I generally ignore signs and other exhortations if they do not show the reader some courtesy.

For example, every time I drive my car I end up in a state of anger because I see "STOP" signs everywhere. How aggravating. I cruise right through intersections in protest of that cold-hearted language. If the sign would say "Please STOP," I would gladly come to a stop.

When I see "Tear on the dotted line" I rip the package open any old way I please just to get back at the insensitive packaging designers. When I encounter a box marked with "This end up" I invariably turn it upside down just to teach somebody a lesson. (This is a lot of work for heavy boxes, but the end justifies the means, even if something leaks from the box.)

Most milk cartons made like the one shown here have the crude statement "Open Other Side," which, of course I ignore because it is so insulting. But when I bought some eggnog at Christmas time, I noticed that somebody had thought to include the word "Please" in the instructional statement on the carton. (Maybe Politeness Man had a word with the carton's designer.) I was elated! To show my joy, I followed the courteous direction and opened the carton on the other side.

Whew! This rant has exhausted me. Please excuse me while I take a break to rest up.

20120905_2145...A comforting thought

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 11:21:57 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

These days there are plenty of things to sadden or depress a person. A few examples are the state of the economy, the prevalence of shootings in public places, and the nonsense promulgated by some politicians. My first reaction to bad news is to reach for my industrial-grade tranquilizers. Most of the time, swallowing (whole, not chewed!) numerous pills makes me feel better. But in those instances when the drugs don't do their work, I take out this humble piece of paper and review its message. Calmness and satisfaction immediately follow.

20110622_8558...Plant life on Mars!

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 10:46:18 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

NASA's Mars rover Curiosity has documented proof of life on Mars! The rover's Mast Camera (Mastcam) captured this image of a plant growing in the Martian soil. The plant shown here is about five inches (12.5 cm) tall and is growing in what appears to be a mixture of sand and small pebbles. This is proof of the presence of water on the Red Planet. Scientists around the world are so excited that they're wetting their pants. NASA has not yet given a name to this plant, so if anyone would like to suggest one, feel free to leave a comment here.

For Mars geography freaks, the location of the plant is in the recently-named White Wash Sand Dunes, approximately at the center of this NASA aerial photograph taken by the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter.

20120422_3375...Petrified DLT

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 01:23:43 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

The black markings on the bamboo hiking stick are 12 inches (30 cm) apart.

"DLT" = "dinosaur, lettuce, and tomato." This one has several layers---only a very big mouth could have bitten into the whole thing.

20070922_4402...I couldn't find this in my book about edible plants

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 13:22:58 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

It looks yummy, doesn't it?
Seen along the trail in Negro Bill Canyon, near Moab, Utah.

20120325_0675...The ravages of sedation

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 22:00:12 -0700

listorama posted a photo:

This is what it looks like when a person ingests "mass quantities" of industrial-grade tranquilizers. In this case, the subject is sedated so that he is relieved of the uneasiness and tremors caused by an insidious malady known as Sandstone Deprivation Syndrome (SDS).

The effects of SDS are akin to those experienced by a drug addict who is forced to kick his habit "cold turkey." It is not a pretty sight.

SDS affects a small percentage of the population. It always strikes persons of a weak disposition who make the mistake of cavorting among Moab's voluptuous sandstone formations called fins or domes and exploring sandstone canyons whose beauty and scale boggle the mind. Moabian sandstone, which happens to be the most psychoramic substance known, gets a mental grip on desert explorers and doesn't let go.

The first signs of SDS frequently occur as the afflicted person is heading home after having explored the sandstone landscapes of Moab: a sense of unease or a feeling of agitation. As time passes, the victim has mood swings and might "act out" in frustration. Tremors, drooling, and senseless babbling soon follow unless the victim is sedated. While sedated, the victim is unproductive, compliant, and boring. But that is far better than the state of agitation he or she would experience if not treated with medication. Companions, neighbors, and associates of the victim all agree that sedation is the preferable situation.

While this report is has not been a happy one, there is a bit of good news---this poor soul will head for Utah in May of 2012 to get a sandstone fix. While traveling, he will be accompanied by two burly escorts who will ensure that he takes his medication every day and does not "create a scene" in a public place.

More information about SDS.

20070927_7070...Fasten your seat belts, hold on tight, and keep tranquilizers handy!

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:20:19 -0800

listorama posted a photo:

This thrilling/awesome/compelling scene looks north from Arches National Park at the boundary fence between the park and BLM land. About 300 yards (275m) to the left is almost-world-famous Jug Rock. I was on my way from Delicate Arch to the precipice of Salt Wash Canyon via Jug Rock and had just hiked about a mile up this small wash.

The fence exists to keep grazing animals out of the park (there were numerous cow pies around Jug Rock). My bamboo hiking stick is six feet (1.8m) tall.

I anticipate a huge number of hits for this photo. I just hope that Flickr's servers don't get overloaded by the activity.

20070130_7147...Not a happy camper

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 18:02:14 -0800

listorama posted a photo:

One would think from the trace of a smile in this picture that the person is happy or perhaps pleased in some other way. However, nothing could be further from the truth.

The "smile" is actually a muscle twitch produced by the administration of a huge dose of industrial-grade tranquilizers to calm his tremors. You see, he requires sedation on a regular basis to cope with the pain of Sandstone Deprivation Syndrome (SDS), informally known as "sandstone addiction." When the victim is away from Moabian sandstone, he suffers mentally and physically.

This person, obviously of weak mental constitution, made the horrible mistake of taking extended walks in the sandstone landscapes around Moab, Utah. The bizarre forms (fins, domes, and arches) of that sandstone have what scientists call a "high psychoramic quotient." That is to say, it possesses the ability to capture the attention of weak-brained individuals and not let go. A person once caught is forever in the grasp of Moabian sandstone and must return to Moab repeatedly to explore the other-worldly topography. Only when doing that is the affected individual at peace with himself and the world and able to function normally.

Just as with other forms of addiction, SDS produces unpleasant effects in a person. Note the disheveled appearance of his hair and the beard stubble---both are signs of a lack of interest in maintaining even a minimum level of good grooming. The stupefied gaze in the eyes is a sign that the victim is distracted from reality.

Shortly after this picture was taken, the man collapsed into a deep sleep that spared him hours of pain of coping with the harshness of daily life. SDS robs the mind of all normal thoughts. Instead, the victim's mind is focused on the need to return to Moab, Utah to get a fix of Moabian sandstone.

Only the regular administration of industrial-grade tranquilizers will tide the victim over until his next trip to Moab, which will probably be in Spring 2012. If it's later than that, the man might have to be committed to a mental institution for his own safety and the good of society.

This photograph is presented in black and white because the victim's eyes were so bloodshot as to be repulsive. SDS causes a person to think about nothing but Moabian sandstone, so the desire to sleep is "put on the back burner."

20111025_5869...Fill in the blanks

nobody@flickr.com (listorama) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 00:08:56 -0800

listorama posted a photo:

As you can see, I am lying prone on a vast expanse of sandstone in Arches National Park, near Moab, Utah,

This sandstone is no ordinary sandstone. It is (1)_______ sandstone, found only near Moab. It is psychoramic.

I was doing this in an attempt to reach a (2)_______ plane of existence.

By reading (3)_______ I learned that if a person lies on (1)_______ sandstone for a minimum of

7.1 hours, without (4)_______ in the slightest, he or she can see and understand things

that have never before been seen or understood. This state of advanced awareness is called (5)_______.

I believe all this because I follow the teachings of the (6)_______, who is my spiritual guru.

He explains all this mumbo-jumbo in great detail on page (7)_______ of his treatise (3)_______.

As is the case with all my attempts, this effort did not yield the (5)_______ I was looking

for. Just before the 7.1 hours passed, I (8)______, ruining the session. Bummer.

This photo would not have been possible without the help of Joe Tripod, who supported my camera. He fills in the figurative "camera-support blanks" on my hikes.