Uploads from Brooke Golightly, tagged portrait

your things to keep you calm [explored!]

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 06:07:48 -0700

and so now that the longest of places i was
i quit my rambling and come home

This is actually a shot I took last summer. I loved the light in this, so I started editing it and the more I did, the more I liked it. Daybreak is hands down my favorite time of day, so I'm glad it'll be warmer for that now.

Spring always makes me feel so electric, so alive and full of possibilities. Lately I've felt like my fingertips have been tingling as I long to get outside and crawl through the tree branches (before full summer gets here and brings with it poison ivy, ticks and snakes). I'm sure the next few weeks will see lots of that and I can hardly wait.

what i have and what i ache for

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 07:38:04 -0800

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

i don't know what more to ask for
i was given just one wish

Lately I've been reading a lot of fairy tale type stories. Clive Barker's "The Thief of Always" has been one of my long standing favorites, with a wonderfully descriptive narrative that makes me picture in great detail the images of the story. Right now I'm reading a beautiful version of Beauty and the Beast, which I'm certain is loved by nearly every little girl who reads it. It really is a beautiful lesson in life. We all want to find the things we most desire, whether that be one true love, a vocation we feel compelled to do, raising a family or a myriad of other dreams we humans aspire to. And, reading this again now, so many years after my childhood, I can see how people would relate not only to Beauty, but also to Beast. I'm sure so many people, at some point in their lives, felt that something about themselves prevented others from fully understanding them...

"In the Beast's eyes, she saw her reflection shimmer as the black pond brimmed with tears, and then the Beast turned away with a sigh that echoed around the great hall and up the stairs until it filled the whole palace with sorrow. 'Farewell, Beauty' said the Beast as he left her, and Beauty's dreams that night were full of this strange, sad monster who seemed so hateful and yet so full of hurt; so eager to please and so easy to pain."

I know in retrospect it seems like I've known a few hidden Beasts... people who seemed so hateful and angry who probably were only scared, hurt souls inside.

the ones you didn't burn

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 13:56:45 -0800

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

i hoped that you would come
i gave you my address

Sometimes our own actions, good intentioned or not, are our own downfalls. But then again, I've found that the only way better things can be come into our lives is if we restructure. Which can also be very painful. I'm usually so hyper-aware of any changes in my life and find myself battling them a little. Lately that has changed, and I hope it's something that sticks. I'm trying to allow things to happen to me and accept them for the good they bring. For someone who is always trying to see what's coming next, this is a pretty big feat to me. But ultimately, I'm learning I don't have to control everything.

I hope you all have a beautiful Christmas with plenty of love all around you.

with all your fatalism and your crooked face

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 07:28:33 -0800

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

i keep me in a vacant lot
in the ivy and forget-me-nots
hoping you will come and untangle me one of these days

I was thinking about how often in life people are just marking time. For any number of reasons. Either they're waiting for their lives to change (or hoping for it), not realizing that they are the catalyst that drives that change or they're mourning a loss of someone... or something. And I guess there's a time when that is appropriate. But there's also the fact that if we do this too much we're just letting everything slowly get away from us. Our hair grows, our bodies weaken, and one day there's no more waiting to be done... there's no more time. At all.

I'm so glad I finally got this thought out of my head and into a photograph. I'd pictured it in a cellar and tried and didn't like the result. Then I remembered seeing these rocks on one of my scouts this summer. This week the weather has been absolutely gorgeous, sunny and warm. Except today. Today it was sunny, but with a blustery wind and the temperatures dropped probably ten degrees, at least. I honestly wish I had put off some of my earlier errands this so that I didn't have to freeze to carry out this concept, but there ya go. Then I got there two hours early so that I could be sure and find it and make all my marks on the overhang. I set up the camera at what I thought would be the best place and angle, and then I waited. You can do a lot of thinking when you're just waiting for the sun to go down. As so many people were going from store to store in the mass consumerism of Black Friday, I was sitting on some cold rocks by a large river and scribbling hieroglyphics on a rocky overhang. I think this place is perfect for what I wanted. Even though I had to freeze to do it, I'm very happy with the way it came out.

these are the arms you fell into

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 16:51:29 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

this is an echo, this is the glory
this is the pounding of a midnight heart

This idea has been in my head for a little while now, although this isn't exactly as I pictured it. I think this looks much more hopeful and happy than the one I'd envisioned. That's a good thing, and the opposite of the way it usually is. Life and creativity are such wonderful surprises sometimes. I think this accurately displays how content and happy I've been lately. Maybe it's the beautiful Fall weather or maybe it's just that things just seem to be happening in the way that they should. I feel so blessed with the gifts I've gotten in my life and the ones that seem to keep surprising me. Perhaps it's that I don't really expect things to be wonderful, and when they are it fills me with so much hope that it breeds more feelings of hope as any shadows of despair are chased away.

waiting for someone to come look for us

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 06:22:16 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

every day that passed,
i thought you'd never ask and
you never did

I think I've always considered myself a gypsy of some kind. I don't know if I'll ever want to be so affixed to a place that I wouldn't consider the possibility that there must be more experiences and adventures in store. I love the idea that there are creatures who were fortunate enough that nature equipped them with their own home, suitable for mobility and with more than an adequate amount of protection against the elements. How amazing would that be? Travel wouldn't be quite so stressful if we had all the comforts of home with us and could just put ourselves down wherever we got tired. And it also makes me think of the idea that a person could be our home. It's a romantic notion, of course. Still, I think some people do find that one person they can think of as where their home is, and where their heart lives.

i like to see you from a distance

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 06:22:51 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

don't you tempt me with perfection
i have other things to do

I finally got a chance to edit a photo that I shot last week and needed a re-edit. And like others, this one hits home so much more for me than the previous edit. That is so typical of life. I found this magical place with only a rough idea of where I was going. These are not burned trees, but rather some that have been under water periodically over the years. Traipsing through the tall weeds and brush, I kept saying things to myself like "Oh, I really don't want to do this. Omigodomigod." because I'm not entirely sure the weather is cool enough yet that snakes wouldn't still be out. It's a little terrifying to me, considering I'm usually the only person who knows exactly where I am.

I often wonder what makes some of us social creatures and others of us shy away from it. Some people have to always be in the mix, mingling and "being seen," and there are those of us who would rather stand aside and be somewhat more aware by being less involved. Maybe it's a defense, as well. As I've said before, when I'm out among trees and nature utterly alone, it connects me. Being around masses of people? Strangely, no. Thankfully, I don't feel that way about everyone. And it's not that I dislike people, (although I feel like I do need to defend that, being that I choose to spend so much time by myself) it's just that the social obligation of conversations, while making complete sense, don't always engage me as much as they should. Especially since photography, I'm WAY too distractable. That's good/that's bad. I love the obsession, it gives me a passion I didn't have in my life and needed.

my dust will tell what my flesh would not

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 14:51:08 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

where the wild winds blow
and the cold stars shine

[I told you the darkness was lurking near]

This photo is one that has been an idea of mine, but only in the back of my mind kind of way. I bought the rope for another idea and brought it along and found this to be the perfect place to try this shot. I felt a little strange and silly running around nude in this place, ears keened for the sound of any leaves or footfalls. But it's in a remote area, not exactly near town, so... I just enjoyed the moment and had a blast getting dirty like a child as I watched the sun come up.

There is no part of me that wishes to be buried in a box when my life is extinguished. And I'm not entirely sure I'm all that happy with cremation, either. I think more than any other school of thought I enjoy the one of rejoining the earth and becoming one again with the elements which comprise all of us living beings. It has always seemed terribly macabre and disquieting to me at funerals to feel like I'm required to walk past a husk that once contained someone I loved and respected.

my beating heart the anchor to a ship so warm

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 10:56:26 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

it's the ice in the seam, the scheme of you
you're supposed to have the answer
you're supposed to have living proof

I've felt soooo inspired lately, scribbling away in my little book, constantly sidetracked and distracted by the visions in my head. Thank god I can put them somewhere, or else they'd probably drive me crazy. Er. CraziER. And I finally bought a new remote that's supposed to have a long range and through walls. Not that I'll need that, but dependability at range will definitely be appreciated.Nothing worse to thwart creativity than faulty gear/equipment.

This isn't actually the picture I set out to take before sunrise this morning. I was thinking of something more sinister and representational of how easily we tend to leave our old lives, selves and relationships behind when we need to. We'll see if that photo comes to light. At any rate, I see something darker coming. It's overdue. Truth be told, and maybe this will come as no surprise to many, but those are my favorite. Those are usually the ones I'm more proud of. I guess because it feels like I pulled something out from deep inside that doesn't exist there anymore and it isn't and wasn't created to be aesthetically pleasing in any traditional sense. Anyway, I fell in love with this light and was exuberant as I usually am when I find how lovely it is to be awake and seeing the world that other people sleep through. People driving and cycling down the adjoining road were no doubt wondering what a woman was doing at sunrise running around on the tracks. I kinda love that. People need to be surprised and shaken up. I'm certain I'll revisit this place again, maybe at sunset to see what the light looks like coming from the opposite side of the tracks.

a reckoning that's coming to make something right

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 14:34:49 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

it's true you were running for cover,
the worst of the worst was not done

Nightingales are known for their songs of love and longing, but they also represent a creative soul who yearns to grow and is reaching for that potential. These nightingales represent a transformation in my soul to stay true to what my heart tells me, but also to keep an open mind about the possibilities the future holds. It's so easy to get lost in the now and the limited potential it seems to hold sometimes, ... the endless obstacles. The truth is that it's always moving. Life's endless current is constantly making such subtle changes all around us that there are so many times I wake up and realize how much my life has changed from 10 years ago. In so many positive ways.

I was inspired by some other shots with similar ideas, including the lovely photos by Dara Scully and also endlessly inspired by the representation of flight and the fascinating creatures who do it so effortlessly.

Two more things: when I was setting up to take this photo, a man on a motorcycle drove by and went through the lake parking lot down the road, circled around and drove by again. Then he turned around and came back, parked by my car and just sat there looking at me, obviously very curious about what I was doing. After asking me if I was okay and me assuring him at least three times nothing was amiss, he finally left. I get that some people are ... well-intentioned, but this kind of thing scares me a little. Especially since I know I didn't look distressed. Also, almost three hours into editing this picture the first time, my Photoshop crashed and locked up and everything was lost so although very frustrated and disappointed, I regathered my thoughts and started again and tried not to let it affect me negatively. That's sort of a metaphor for life: we can either choose to let setbacks diminish our spirit, or we can use these things as an opportunity to do something better. I know this edit is better than the one I was working on, and I'm thankful that something forced me to realize that.

your souls uncovered by believing in the things that you see

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 17:08:55 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

and if you hear the sound of shooting stars
protect you heart 'cause it burns back and turns back around

There are times we just have to have faith... that things will work out for the best, that people truly are good at heart, or that there's a reason for things like suffering. It's difficult but it takes a great awareness of a bigger picture. And there are times you'll have nothing to bind this faith and all looks so bleak that you won't want to go on. I think our ability to keep that faith, no matter how hopeless we feel, is the very thing that keeps our integrity intact.

I shot this photo on Independence Day. It's been miserably hot this summer, probably nearly everywhere in the United States. Given that I've become quite fond of taking photographs outside, that presents a problem. Mainly because it only takes about 5-10 minutes out in it to drench you with perspiration (and that could be an unsightly photo). But when you need to create, you need to create. It's my grounding mechanism, you see. The funny thing is this is just THE grossest place. It's near a bridge and the water was truly green and mucky. As I was dressing I heard people on four-wheelers nearby which sent me into a near frenzy to get dressed and get my camera equipment put up. That might be a very embarrassing moment were someone to drive up on me as I was half clothed and with a camera on a tripod set up. Not that I'm a stranger to people finding me odd, but you don't really like to always encourage that thinking. Luckily I found this darling ship at Goodwill last weekend and it was EXACTLY what I went there looking for! And they had two! Sometimes you have to believe in the Divine intention in things.

the girl you once knew

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sun, 27 May 2012 14:45:18 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

and i believe it was you
who i wanted to be walking next to
and i believe we were friends
and i believe we will be again

This is pretty different for me, I think. I shot it the day I shot the preceding photo. Sort of a balance, I guess. It was pretty difficult since I lost my remote and for some stupid reason haven't purchased another one. I'm pretty glad no one can ever see me doing these things, because that mad dash to get balanced and in position in ten seconds must be absolutely hysterical. I'd never get the shot done with that going on. I had in mind something fun and also an homage to one of my favorite things in the world, reading and books. I've had a love affair with books since I learned how to read and I am literally never, ever not in the middle of a book. Were any one thing to be taken from me, that one would hurt the most. Well... gosh, that and music. Like the air I breathe.

Plus, I wanted to commemorate piecing this dress back together. There's a bit of a history and it's been buried in a bin full of assorted fabric remnants for over ten years. Indeed. Why did I hold on to it for so long? Because I absolutely love this dress. It's vintage and when I bought it, it was in pristine condition. Cotton with gold accents in the design and a very full skirt (didn't you love the dresses Lucille Ball used to wear on I Love Lucy?) and I just couldn't part with it, yet I resisted sewing it back together for my own reasons. I'm happy that I finally put it together again.

when there is nothing left to burn

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Fri, 18 May 2012 08:15:22 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

there's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave
you were what I wanted
i gave what I gave
i'm not sorry i met you

"When there's nothing left to burn, you must set yourself on fire," is a phrase from the beginning of this song. Every time I hear it, it makes me think of the many meanings it could have. As a creative person, sometimes inspiration will be thwarted by events of our life that seem to leave us out of creative control. Last year I felt like I'd hit some kind of low, and I didn't want to create. It was like the things inside of me that made me really want to just all of a sudden weren't there. It left me feeling bereft, like a close friend had deserted me. Photography has become such an outlet for me and a way I can purge bad emotions out of myself while simultaneously helping me to revel in the good ones. When, during those 4-6 months I barely wanted to think of concepts or felt that I could, I was afraid my desire was gone. So that phrase really struck me, because there are instances where you really have to reach inside yourself and pull out all the stops, ... you have to set yourself on fire, because that's all you have. You have to rise up like a phoenix from whatever ashes there are in your life and resurrect your desire.

a book like this

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Fri, 11 May 2012 17:32:47 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

and you're tired of everything
all of the girls and the boys,
and if you're tired of everything
all of your precious toys

Oh, my goodness... I've been so lazy and without inspiration for such a long time. But this photo makes me happy. I feel like I've been so frivolous with precious time and energy on my part. And yes, lazy. It's not that I don't think about concepts all the time, I do... but often I will discard them as unworthy, unattainable or whatever lame excuse I have at the time. And that's all that they are is excuses. I actually need photography and specifically the thinking of conceptual ideas in my life right now. So, why do I deprive myself of something I know I really need? But I've been carrying my little leather book with me everywhere I go, so I don't forget these little fantasies...

So this photo is a revisitation to that adventurous inner world I've had my whole life and one which has carried me through many times. I need to re-establish myself with the old characters, let them know I'm still one of them, if you know what I mean.

my dreams are nothing like i thought they'd be

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 11:01:57 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

maybe I'll sleep when I am dead,
but now it's like the night is taking sides

Once upon a time, there was a place not overcome by industrial growth. Children ran the fields of wild red clover, legs wet with dew and crawling with tiny green aphids and miniscule inchworms. The mothers picked plump, juicy blackberries from the untamed bushes in the hills and made sweet cobblers for dessert. Stories put us to sleep read by the light of candle and firelight.

Sometimes it's like our mind and bodies remember things we've never lived. Like our very feral nature brings us closer to the way we used to be when things weren't so encumbered by industry and capitalism. And all we have to do is walk a little farther away from our usually traveled roads to find the place that makes us feel that way... not even a significant distance really. Odd how that is. How very within reach that place is for us, should we decide to find it.

there's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 20:20:34 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

when nothing is owed or deserved or expected
and your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
if you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
decide what to be and go be it

It's remarkable to me how quickly our outlook on life can change. Momentary things affect each of us so much every day, when if we break it all down the most important things... the things that never change and we can rely on are the very things we overlook so easily. Don't you love those moments when you look up into the sky and just regale in the very idea that you're just ...alive? Against so many daily accidents and changes and decisions, you're still here. Defying so many odds.

Someone posted a picture of this delicious field of red clover on their facebook page and I knew I had to find it and take a photograph there. I thought about it all week, through the rainy, stormy weather. The weekend was slated for more of the stormy weather, but I knew if I could just get there when it at least wasn't raining, I'd be good. I woke up at just after 7 a.m. yesterday morning and there was no rain, so I climbed out of bed, got dressed and grabbed my camera just before dawn and headed to the patch of clover. It was such an amazing place to be at sunrise, and I came home giddy, wet, and covered in tiny buglife from sitting in the tall grasses. It's funny, I'm no stranger to being by myself since I'm more than a little bit of an introvert, but when I'm out taking photographs in the woods and fields alone, I feel more connected to things and my world than at any other time.

on scraps and pieces left behind

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 11:03:44 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

and every street and avenue
only one will lead me back to you

there's nothing here to throw away

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 05:20:07 -0700

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

now that my heart is open
it can't be closed or broken
love came here and never left

I think most of us have different ideas of what being alone is like, what it means to us. I started thinking about this when I was watching a documentary and a widow who'd had a long marriage and a few children was remarking to someone how hard it was being alone now that her husband had died and her children gone on to lives of their own... and it occurred to me (again) that getting used to being alone will probably never be an issue with me. It seems I've spent most of my life being what MOST people would call "alone," because I am childless and will always be. And who's to say if I will ever meet that certain someone who would come into my life and carve out a place for himself. But often, when we are faced with trials and circumstances in life, we compensate. We make our own families, and make our lives as close to what we want them to be as is humanly possible. So, even though I did not build a family in the traditional sense, I have one in my many wonderful friends whom I love dearly. They are my rock, and the thing that keeps me from closing up into myself like I have a tendency to do. Knowing you are loved by someone means you aren't ever "alone."

in between all your complex ideas [explored]

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 20:18:37 -0800

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

i understand all your philosophies
but it hurts me just the same

I've been thinking so much about all the complexities of relationships lately. Not strange for me, I lament quite a bit. We're all so complicated, and I think that even applies to ourselves. I've always said "Don't ever say 'Oh, I know that person, they'd never treat me that way/do that.'" because I'm a firm believer that in so many ways we all completely surprise ourselves... all the time. We're always changing, always evolving. If we're lucky, it's in good ways. As if luck has anything to do with it. In our relationships we have a choice to stay through the hardships or realize our losses. No one makes that decision for us. No one has to pack our bags and push us out the door. And if we stay, we should stay because we want to stay. because it's where we want to be. We all eventually have to find our way, no matter how tangled the path or how lost we may become.

I like the ambiguous feel of this, because to me it's hard to tell if she's resting or has fallen, left to the elements. I was listening to this song this morning, and it just made me a little sad. Something about giving someone permission to leave struck me as something we do when we really might not want them to. I had a completely different idea when I went out to shoot this. It's strange when that happens, but serendipitous, also. I think.

the stillness is a burn

nobody@flickr.com (Brooke Golightly) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 11:49:02 -0800

Brooke Golightly posted a photo:

had I seen it in your eyes
there'd have been no try after try

I've been getting ready for my first solo show this past few weeks and haven't gotten out to shoot anything and it's really starting to pile up in my head. I want to go shoot somewhere wonderful and new outdoors, and the weather is finally letting up so that I'll be able to once the show is set up and everything is taken care of. It's been a real learning experience to put it together, and I still can't believe this is where I am now. I honestly have to pinch myself.

This is a shot I actually took last year and just edited. I'm not entirely happy with it, but I was trying to think of something rather different for me, and this certainly is. We'll see if it's something I can stand to look at long enough to leave it up.