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Humanitus ex Machina

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:25:12 -0800

Attendant to nobility
Ask for your master's umbrella.
The dews neath the trees of Miyagino
Are thicker than rain.
--The Kokinshu (early 10th century)

Jorōgumo

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 23:36:50 -0700

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ABS Snail

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 23:35:21 -0700

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Wall

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 23:34:13 -0700

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A Classy Establishment

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 19:31:30 -0700

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Hammerfall, Chapter One: A Party Is Formed

Part One: A Journey Begins
Part Two: A delightful Encounter
Part Three: The Donkey's Ass
Part Four: A Classy Establishment

It was once said that the stench of the Donkey's Ass was enough to kill any god-fearing man. Unfortunately, this was said by a priest, and he died too quickly for it to ever be heard. Arthur recoiled as the blast of warm and sticky air hit him. Marvin remained depressed.
As Arthur took in the scene, a smile crept across his face. This was, quite certainly, the party he needed.
A dwarf with hair that would have made Robert Plant jealous stood upon the stone bar, obviously drunk out of his mind.
"The next fool to call me a bard will feel my mace!", shouted Baldric, the Dwarven bard.
"But, sir, you are a bard"
Baldric missed entirely and took out the first three kegs above the bar, allowing a downpour of strong alcohol to drench the female occupant of the seat next to him.
Out of no where, two long daggers appeared in her hands and the two locked into what seemed to be mortal combat; Baldric's drunken staggering allowing him to miss her well placed jabs by sheer luck.
This was just another Tuesday for Judy, the bar wench behind the counter. She plastered on the smile that hid her hate for the world and everyone in it. Just another fucking Tuesday, she thought, the smile remaining, unchanged, on her face.
From the corner, a tall, but hunched, orc grunted his approval of the spectacle.
"Urg", he announced in a way that conveyed his joy in a way only an orc would understand.
Marvin waved his staff and the entire room suddenly became painfully sober. For the first time in years Baldric realized he was a drunk bard, and sat down to cry. Urg grunted. Shanaara sheathed her daggers, and wandered over to pick the pockets of the shirtless guy with the large hammer who had just come in. Judy smiled.
"Would anyone like to join us on an adventure?", Arthur asked, tentatively.
"Urg"
"*sob*What need would you have of a bard who can't sing?", cried Baldric.
"Sounds profitable; I'm in", said Shanaara, returning Arthur's gold.
"It will be quite heroic, and we could use all of you", Arthur announced.
In his excitement Baldric broke the last two kegs of ale.
"Fucking Tuesdays", Judy swore, as she lost her last thread of sanity.
"No worse than any other day", sighed Marvin.
And with that, the party left the tavern; now five members strong.

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To avoid confusion, the party now is made up of:
Marvin the Melancholy, Arthur Hammerfall, Shanaara Shadowstepper, Baldric the Untalented, and Urg.
I built every update in the series so far during a block of free time last weekend. I have been trying to space them out because, as of now, updates will be a little further apart. SV is also rightly bugging me to build my party for THIS CONTEST. OH MY GOD FREE ADVERTISING. I was paid for that in SV's firstborn child.

The Donkey's Ass

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 16:55:50 -0700

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Hammerfall, Chapter One: A Party Is Formed

Part One: A Journey Begins
Part Two: A delightful Encounter
Part Three: The Donkey's Ass

Arthur and his new found companion hiked through a few more miles of grassy hillside until they reached the bar where a party of fearless (the byproduct of copious alcohol consumption) adventurers were always available. The Donkey's Ass was a magical bar in the sense that its large interior was hidden by a discretely skinny and tall building on the outside, allowing plenty of room for the drunken mob that always seemed to form in the afternoon and drink and fight themselves to oblivion by the next morning. The secret for one looking for a party of live--but drunk enough to accept such a pointless offer--adventurers, was to arrive precisely at the moment when the first round of drinks had run out, and the first bar wench had been turned into a goblin by whichever wizard happened to be having a rather frivolous evening.
The chances of Marvin the Melancholy being said wizard are, sadly, low.

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This building is a little large for one picture with my set up, so I added a few detail shots in my photostream.

A Delightful Encounter

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 20:59:37 -0700

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Hammerfall, Chapter One: A Party Is Formed

Part One: A Journey Begins
Part two: A Delightful Encounter

As Arthur trudged along through the altogether too bright and cheery fields on his way to the bar where he knew he could find a crew for his heroic deed, he happened across a graveyard. From a distance, what struck him was not the sight of tombstones, but a deep and resonating voice that seemed to fill the air. Never having been very skilled at tactfulness, Arthur decided to take the situation on boldly, and find out who was making the noise. A rather tall and unfathomably old man sat with his back to a tombstone. His silver hair cascaded down over his magnificently blue robes, and his face looked twisted into what could only be described as an eternal frown. His staff was twice as tall as Arthur, and marked the man as a powerful wizard.
"What exactly are you doing?", asked Arthur.
"Talking to the dead; at least they don't depress me any further. I am called Marvin the Melancholy for a reason, you know ", said the man.
"Arthur Hammerfall, at your service."
"I'd most sincerely appreciate it if you weren't at my service; it sounds like a horribly depressing task."
"If you are so depressed, why don't you see a psychiatrist?"
"I find that anyone who chooses to be a psychiatrist is invariably in need of a psychiatrist, creating a vicious cycle of insanity and an abundance of uncomfortable leather couches."
"I see", said Arthur, who didn't see, in any way. "Would you be interested in joining me to gather a party and do something incredibly heroic?"
"And what would that be?"
"I haven't the slightest idea."
"Very well, I tire of the company of the dead anyways. Nothing depresses me like death."
In this fashion Arthur found his first companion. They walked down the hill and out of the graveyard, on to whatever adventures awaited them.

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Notice the link to part one in the beginning of the description. Fancy.

A Journey Begins

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 16:12:28 -0700

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Hammerfall, Chapter One: A Party Is Formed

Part One: A Journey Begins

Our story begins as most do, with a hero.
Having survived the massacre of his people, the sacking of his village, and a whole lot of time spent watching white people try to dance, Arthur felt that he was rather prepared for whatever the world would throw at him. He was quite wrong.
Arthur was on a journey to no where in particular, and was getting there very quickly. After only two days of walking, he was thoroughly lost and in need of a strong alcoholic beverage. He had some distant recollection of a journey in the name of revenge, to kill the man who had killed his people, and make a name for himself in this world. Journies like that were for honorable men, Arthur reflected, and that was one thing of which he could never be accused of being. For the time being, making a name for himself would have to do, and the best way to do that would probably involve an action requiring more than him and his hammer. A party would be needed for some thoroughly heroic task, and he knew just the place to find one.
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Finally made the first little vignette of the series. The characters have been altered a good amount from their first appearance. I'll update this as often as I can. It will be broken down into parts which make up chapters; nothing too technical. I'll certainly have to work on improving the photography...

Flower

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 16:11:29 -0700

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Paperweight

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 15:13:03 -0700

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It spins, weighs paper, and looks awesome. Turn the wheel on the back to make the gears spin (not very complex, I know).

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 17:07:21 -0700

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Thu, 07 Jul 2011 17:07:33 -0700

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Mon, 04 Jul 2011 13:49:55 -0700

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Sun, 03 Jul 2011 20:01:29 -0700

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Sat, 02 Jul 2011 19:17:22 -0700

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Paladin Cruiser

Thu, 30 Jun 2011 18:19:19 -0700

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Wed, 29 Jun 2011 17:15:58 -0700

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The Showroom

Sun, 26 Jun 2011 17:02:02 -0700

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Well

Wed, 22 Jun 2011 18:39:37 -0700

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Horse

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 19:23:00 -0700

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