Uploads from Ameliaa.H

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 21:21:55 -0800

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

went to the MOMA in San Fransisco yesterday~

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 02:37:53 -0800

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 02:25:42 -0800

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

-Summer-

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 15:20:50 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

Rory

+ a bunch in the comments

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 15:13:02 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

~Old photo but one of my best friends Kendra~

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Sat, 01 Sep 2012 09:59:24 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

So, I'm thinking it's time I started uploading again. I've been gone for too long. I may delete all my previous photos for a clean start but I haven't decided yet. I did delete some though. I also may post pictures from the time period that I was off Flickr for.

ANYWAYS. About this photo, a friend wanted one of my best friends, Aurora(Rory), and I to be on his CD album cover. He styled us and stuff.

+ 3 in comments

feel the need.

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 14:32:01 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

I wanted to say thank you to everyone for being really supportive. Means everything to me really. I've been gone for a while..I apologize. I'm not too sure why I did. Honestly, it was a bit self-destructive since Flickr helps deal with my emotions. I lied. I know why I've been gone. It was because it was easy. It was easy for once to just not deal with things that are important. I was terrified to come back to photography. I thought it wouldn't help. But this, writing, hurting, just feeling is so important. Thank you for everyone who did the tag from my last photo. That was inspiring. It made me think about things a lot and I needed it. I really want to catch up on photostreams but at this point I don't have time or energy for that. I apologize for being selfish. You are all wonderful people so please don't worry about me, I'm just working through some stuff. I love that you care, but it makes me feel guilty. My problems are nothing compared to others..

About my last description, one of my best friends is battling depression. She has hurt herself, with pills, physically, and mainly emotionally. I've been watching her fall farther and farther. Helpless. Both her and me. She is getting help. She isn't okay yet but she has better tools to deal with things now. I was/am terrified that this temporary obstacle she was going through was going to become permanent because of the decisions she makes. She does things without thinking about consequences. She self-destructs and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't watch her slowly withering away. I couldn't and that killed me. I love her too much and hated her for making me care that much. I was unreasonable. I was illogical. I don't regret it, it was an honest reaction.

I am a pretty pessimistic person. But these last few weeks I've gotten to know a lot of people better from opening up to them and what I've learned scares the shit out of me. Everyone has huge obstacles to overcome. Everyone deals with it in different ways. In the end, pain is pain. Heartbreak is heartbreak. Whether you've loved and lost. Or you've never had love, or your love wasn't returned. Loss is loss. Whether you lost someone you've loved forever or someone you never got the chance to and you constantly think about what could have been. It's endless. It boggles my mind. It tears me apart knowing that I'm not enough to fix it. No one is. Except you. Knowing that you are the only one who can change things for the better is an insane concept for me. I almost start crying thinking about it. I felt the need to let it out.

I love/hate empathy. But I know its completely and totally better than the alternative; numbness. But that doesn't mean it still doesn't suck.

I am human.

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 00:46:24 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

I'm so drained. .Why do we self sabotage? Why do we hurt those we most care about? Is it because we think they'll stay? I just, I don't understand. I have friends who are going through the most difficult things. It hurts to watch and be helpless.

-I uploaded with the intention of catching up on a tag but then I just started writing. So, I just tagged all of you in the hope that you just pour out what you are really feeling in this exact moment into your next photo or description, or just your next conversation on the phone. Let go. I don't particularly like this photo but I am proud because, I was honest. It feels good to just let go.

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 16:08:44 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

I went to the fair recently
Gah. Hate the Flickr sharpening.

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 00:25:50 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

I wanted to do Erin Rena's challenge ("i challenge you to set up your tripod. step in front of your camera. no acting, no pretending. no fear. just think, feel, and capture it. see what expression shows up on your camera.") I'm still a little uneasy about this and I might take it down but this is what came of my attempt. A frown. As soon as I saw it, I was annoyed. It makes me a little sad because I know how lucky I am. I have so many incredible people and things going on in my life. It makes me sad that with all of that going on I used my energy to frown.

Thank you Erin for the challenge. <3

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 16:45:56 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

I'm going to be slooowly uploading stuff from my vacation starting with this one (: I was tagged a few times but most recently by the lovely Chloe :D She's wonderfulllll! Check out her stream! DO IT.
www.flickr.com/photos/chloewatkinsphotography/

1. I do my best to be openminded.
2. ..I sometimes fail at this miserably.
3. School stresses me out a lotttt.
4. Thank gosh it's over for a bit.
5. I am SO SO VERY pumped for the new Harry Potter movie.
6. And yes I am proudly a huge fan.
7. I tend to bake at night when I am bored.
8. At the moment, I am listening to ABBA.
9. Suuuch feel-good music, right?
10. I have a chocolate milk in the fridge, currently.

OH MAH GOSH. I FORGOT TO TAG PEOPLE. DOING THAT NOWWW.

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 12:44:29 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

I tried to catch up on your streams, sorry if I missed you! Anyways, I'll be uploading photos from my vacation over the next few days. This is a photo from the plane (obviously) but the plane ride was amazing experience. I was just in awe. Despite our flaws the world is so so beautiful. Sometimes I would look down and would just be blue with no clouds and others it would be a huge blanket of white. These are scratches/cracks(?) on the outside of my window. I'm so glad I'm back, and THAT IT'S SUMMER. :D

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 12:47:09 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

This is just an old photo but I felt like uploading (:I'll take more photos soon, especially since school is out :D

~~I'm going to see my favorite artist this weekend, Adele. <3~~
Uggh. I'm so disappointed. The concert is canceled because Adele is still sick with laryngitis. This was going to be her first performance back (she's canceled other dates on her tour). Oh, well. It'll be rescheduled but I really was looking forward to this weekend.

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Sun, 29 May 2011 18:44:58 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

Three pairs of earrings that I bought from the thrift store
+1 in the comments

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Thu, 26 May 2011 21:34:54 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

The pictures in his mind arose
And began to breathe
And no one saw and no one heard
They just followed the lead

+3 in comments

An abundance of books.

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Sat, 21 May 2011 22:09:49 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

I adore reading. Went to the thrift store and the library today.

+2 in the comments

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Wed, 18 May 2011 07:00:55 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

Pretty pointless but I just wanted to take a photo of my nails

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 10:13:05 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 18:40:40 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

Also a thrift store find. I don't play but I so wish I did.

nobody@flickr.com (Ameliaa.H) — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 18:36:40 -0700

Ameliaa.H posted a photo:

A friend and I went thrift shopping. Sometimes I wonder when I find something really great, "Why would anyone get rid of this?" You know?