Uploads from aerie.

Vitamin A

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:16:09 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

Immediate release generic Adderall.

Fearless Feline

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 14:35:29 -0800

aerie. posted a photo:

A loving, faithful friend.

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 14:35:06 -0800

aerie. posted a photo:

Sassy girl.

Namaste'

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 18:20:58 -0800

aerie. posted a photo:

Thirsty kitteh.

Sassy hates the camera.

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 06:04:39 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

Note the ears...she is perturbed at me.

She is my "almost a torti" cat. She has tabby stripes w/ white neck & paws but the torti is evident throughout. She has the affectionate personality of a tabby, not the typical fussy torti.

Prissy in the oven.

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 07:05:40 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

Prissy chillaxin' in the oven. I warmed up the kitchen real quick w/ the oven & left it open. Miss Priss found it perfect for her surveillence of me & the other cats (she doesn't lower herself to associate w/ them but covertly monitors their activities). She can also be found spying on us from the top shelf of cabinets carelessly left open.

ShutMyEyes

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 15:24:45 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

I'm currently reading "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath.

Hopelessness.

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:00:00 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

Defined.

Empathy is the basis for true morality.

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 15:22:28 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

My daughter is a lifeguard at a local pool during the summer. She rescued this guy from the pool prior to the morning chlorine shock. So tiny, on her fingertip. His expression & eye contact seems to convey a simple 'thanks'. Props on her mad photography skills too.

Trivial, I guess & maybe I'm sentimental b/c she's out of my motherly reach now. Off to college, practically grown. Maybe I think too much or maybe it's just that I pay attention so as not to waste this life by trying to store up my treasures for a fairytale heaven. As an atheist mom, I'm quite pleased to see that she makes the effort to do such things. It's a tiny glimpse of her quiet goodness & gentle character that I normally wouldn't get except that it inspired her to snap a pic. It's reassuring to see my children showing empathy to even the most insignificant creatures among us. Isn't that really the test? When we show compassion & do what 's right even when no one is looking? No heaven, no god. Just her & a frog.

Maybe childbirth shook something loose in my head, but the births of my children were the first sparks of reality for me. When I became a parent, I realized that my 'heavenly father' sucked as a parent. Not cool for a god who demanded my complete adoration. I continued the lies & my cognitive dissonance for many more years b/c the notion of an eternal, fiery hell is crippling to rational thought & a very effective motivator.

I'm sure the religio-nutters would call me a 'hippie tree-hugger', preach the Old Testament & spew their bigot-filled hate about abominations, baby murder, the need for war & the "ruination of this great country by the evil left-wing liberals" but I'm glad to be free of that bondage.

So no, it's not like she saved a baby from a burning building, it's but a minuscule gesture in the grand scheme of the universe. But I truly appreciate the simple, honesty of life & my daughter's small act of kindness to a lowly frog makes me proud.

Joey napping on my computer desk.

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 20:24:55 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

Joey passed away recently and I miss him dearly. He was my constant companion & never let me out of his sight for very long. He had an extra toe on all 4 paws.

The Mighty Yadkin

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 10:58:13 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

Yadkin River as seen from the Elkin bridge.

Old Elkin Bridge

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 10:56:53 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

In Aug 2010, demolition will begin on the historic Hugh Chatham Memorial Bridge aka Elkin bridge, a two-lane, trestle structure, built in 1931 across the Yadkin River and directly connects Jonesville in Yadkin Co. to Elkin in Surry Co. In 2005, it was deemed unsafe for vehicular traffic. but enjoyed even more as a community boardwalk on the river for folks throughout the Yadkin River Valley area.

People have been showing up in the evenings & wknds, cars on side of the road, families posing on the bridge, & paying last respects. It's sad to see it go after 80 yrs as a landmark!

Cocktails?

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 03:26:35 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

Fear is a huge part of my mental illness. I guess it overwhelms most of us, in some form, at some point in all our lives, mental illness or not.

Depression

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 23:02:46 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

The questions of "what could I have accomplished?" and "what could I have been?" are really bugging me lately. The "what ifs".

The Elkin Bridge

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 09:21:51 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

In Aug 2010, demolition will begin on the historic Hugh Chatham Memorial Bridge aka Elkin bridge, a two-lane, trestle structure, built in 1931 across the Yadkin River. It directly connects Jonesville in Yadkin Co. to Elkin in Surry Co. In 2005, it was condemned & deemed unsafe for vehicular traffic but enjoyed even more as a community boardwalk on the river for folks throughout the Yadkin River Valley area.

In these last few days, people have been showing up in the evenings & wknds, cars on side of the road, taking pics, families posing on the bridge, & paying last respects. It's sad to see it go after 80 yrs as a landmark!

Old Elkin Bridge

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 09:21:26 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

Feel guilty much?

nobody@flickr.com (aerie.) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 03:49:46 -0700

aerie. posted a photo:

A lady that goes to this church is a 'friend' of mine and she's convinced that I would snap out of my *major clinical depression* if I would just come to church with her. This is in spite of my strong family history on both sides, medical opinion & diagnosis, & 2 violent suicides already in my family. She thinks I've lost touch w/ the lord. LMFAO. Uh... when the "lord" abandoned me in my deepest depression, I began to question what kind of god would allow his faithful 'child' to suffer such unrelenting emotional/mental pain. This was not a god I could love, respect, or worship. That's what led me to become an atheist, so in that way I'm thankful for my depression. It caused me & taught me to question everything I believed in & maybe I wouldn't have done that as a believer otherwise. The fear of an eternal hell is a huge motivating factor when you've been indoctrinated to believe in it. Of course, my atheist cousin who shot himself, died "hating god" as the family put it, so "it's no wonder he killed himself". Some of the family believe he's in hell, some believe god doesn't 'punish' the mentally ill. Go figure.

I see his suicide the other way around...once he figured out that hell is bullsh*t & that there was no judgemental god waiting to send him there, & obviously a non-existent jesus was not going to "heal" him (according to grandma, jesus would heal him if he just prayed through it), then he realized that death would be like just before he was born. Nothingness. No pain. No shame. No self-loathing. No idiots saying, "just come to church with me". Peace & relief became attainable for him because he no longer feared hell. Yes, he hurt the family & some are still very angry many years later. We love & miss him dearly. But the comments about his "selfishness" were disturbing. I believe it's selfish of us as survivors & loved ones to expect someone to endure unbearable pain, distress, & hopelessness just so we won't be sad or upset or feel guitly. Of course we will grieve, but we aren't to judge another's pain or their tolerance for it. The old lie about "god doesn't give us more than we can handle" is a damaging one. What it is, is life as humans on this planet & sh*t happens. There isn't a god 'giving us stuff as tests to see how much we can handle'. WTF kind of god would that be, anyway?

So, I particularly hate this sign for obvious reasons. Oh, I'm not mad at god any more & I know he didn't abandon me. It's impossible to be angry at a non-existent god & invisible friends can't abandon you in your misery. They were never there in the first place!

Disclaimer: I do not condone suicide nor am I currently suicidal. I am simply saying that we cannot judge anyone's pain or their ability to bear it. Humans are full of selfishness & I speak from experience when I say that most people with serious depression are the *least* selfish among us.