Uploads from pimpdisclosure

one a pimp two a pimp three a pimp - four. ah five a pimp six a pimp sev........can I get a witness <-- trendy and not cool? AH! Solution...... can i get a pimpness <-- perfect. (works every time)

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 19:53:35 -0800

Remember that beer commercial where those losers yell "WUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ UPPPPPPPPPPPP" into the phone. That's like me right now. Except I'm not drinking beer and I'm not a loser. I'm a winner even when I'm losing. That's what holding my pimp title is all about actually. I'm the reining champion. I'm like Muhammad Ali. I fly like a bee and sting like yo mamma.

I haven't posted a photo in nearly a year. I hope some of you old relics who still have me as a contact come over here and throw down one of your lame comments. Try not to be too clever now okay? You ain't a fox like me.

See that bush there? The one in the photo sort of 5 o'clock distance from my feet? The shrubby beast sticking' out while the rest of the ground lays solid winter dead nothing? That's kind of like how my cock works. Is that an analogy or a simile? Can anyone really tell me the difference between those two fine English rules without using a website that starts with a "g" and ends with a "i don't believe you" ?

Actually I fooled ya there smokey, it doesn't snow where I live. I Photoshopped that whole bit in. That's how I good I've become. I really am a pimp ain't I?

Appar - ent - ly. (for all you folks scoring at home, I stress the sylobol "LY". Gotta say it new school ya know?)

I just spelled that word like a retard would. Has it become politically incorrect enough in 2013 to still say retard and for it to be okay? Is retard the new gay? 100 is the new 80, did you know that? Seriously though I decided the other day why old shit is cool and new shit is not and it all boils down to one thing: political correctness. What a shitty bad trend that has just made us a plastic fake culture.

Me and the babe <<---- haven't used a plastic bag (by choice) in nearly a year. We have calculated that we've saved 482 seals and 94 whales because of this. And a couple jelly fish too but who cares about them.

What the fuck this went from bad to worse to downright embarrassing. I gotta jet. Write soon you little rascals.

Love,
Clever as a Fox

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oh i do believe i spot the morton salt lady!

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 12:30:24 -0700

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

P • 74
•Tիe ր¡мր cիгიդւcles•
03 • 22 • 2012

On my way to the bus after class last week it was raining pretty good when I got outside. My walk to the bus is a good 20 minutes from the school. And luck would have it this was my first walk through San Francisco while it was raining for as much as I can remember.

And holy attack of the umbrella freaks every god damn person had a mothergoddamn umbrella! I have never seen anything like it. These people really take the whole umbrella staying dry thing seriously.

I seriously think I was the only person in this entire city who actually considered walking around without holding an umbrella above my head.

Actually the decision was easy. I haven't owned an umbrella since I was a kid. I don’t see any practical use for something that just keeps a little water off of me. I never really gave a shit about getting wet. Is it really that big of a deal?

Quite frankly I enjoy getting wet from the rain. You'll never catch me running from my car to whatever building awaits me when I park if it's raining outside. I never understood why people do that. Like really what the hell is so precious on your body that you can't get a few rain drops on- SLOW DOWN AND RELAX! (it’s just a little water! in fact it’s the best kind of water to get on you if you dare rank the types)

I find the rain and most things surrounding it to be rather poetic. For example check out these people holding their umbrellas. Forget how mainstay this whole umbrella dealio concept is to you. Instead take a moment to really look at these fuckers holding up that bowl shaped thing above their head. It's bizarre. Yeah the act of owning this thing and using it is just weird plus these people just look aesthetically odd.

Which is perfect! Because it makes for interesting pictures!

When you get an entire plethora citywide mass of people all running around with these rain protectors it's a freaking trip. Umbrellas rule! I always get excited when it rains so I can take pictures of all these weirdo's holding their ridiculous water drop protecting device. Grow some balls dude.

It’s just rain! Next time I’m gonna splash one of you when we cross paths at a big puddle. What good is your precious umbrella gonna do you then? Yeah.

The photo at hand? I walked straight into literally a sea of umbrellas (some had already passed) and a couple of them dinged my hat as we crossed paths. That's right I walked straight into a freaking massive hoard of umbrella owners and captured the whole experience- this picture being my favorite of the bunch. Absolutely love this picture each person brings a completely separate storyline it’s just awesome. Their little umbrellas really makes them each individually captivating in a way that they probably wouldn’t if we all crossed paths without their umbrellas. It's hard to get photos like this.

Thank the rain.

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the honking red light impatience experiment

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 14:07:30 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

P • 73
•Tիe ր¡мր cիгიդւcles•
03 • 06 • 2012

So I dropped my kid off to school this morning and was on my way home "illegally" driving in my unregistered car (don't ask) and came up to a red light. While I was poking around on the passengers seat counting the number of girl scout cookie boxes I had to get rid of somehow, the lady behind me honked.

Actually the bitch honked twice!

Oh. The light is green. My bad you Prius driving fool. You'd think someone who drives a car that gets like 100mpg would be driving around with a big fat smile on their face.

Now before we go on, you have to realize just how truly impatient the Prius Princess really was. I looked down and immediately started to count a total of 11 boxes. I can count to 11 pretty damn quick, probably quicker than the time it took for you to read this single sentence alone.

That means we're talking fractions of a second it took the Prick with the Prius to honk.

For your information, I honked back. I honked twice too. Just like her.

I actually always honk back when people feel the need to honk at me. Come to think of it I always honk back in the melodic honk they gave me. You know, like a loud angry long single honk for another.

HONKKKKKKK
(usually with some fuckface looking angry, possibly giving me the finger, likely got fingered up acting worse to a stranger than I act to my own child, or anyone for that matter. Oh wait we're in cars. This is socially acceptable behavior in America when we're all behind the wheel of what is essentially a death machine. For what? I waited fractions of a second.)

Isn't this silly?

I thought so. So at that moment after I honked back at the my Pennypinchin' Prius lover back on lovers lane, I decided to do an experiment.

Yeah. Like then as in right before I got home today. I conducted a scientific experiment. And based off of how often I seemed to get impatience of this magnitude at red lights when I don't go right away, I had a pretty good idea what would happen.

Let me explain.

Theory:
People in America driving in cars have grown so impatient that they are unable to wait less than 1 second at traffic lights before honking and carrying on like a child.

Hypothesis:
Nobody will be able to go over 1 second without alerting me with their dumbfuck horn if I am at the front of the line waiting with them when the light turns from red to green.

Experiment:
After my experience with Two Honk Prius Honk Specialist, I drove around my town and attempted to get to a traffic light when it was red at the front of the line. Then I made sure the person behind me was stopped and waiting with e (rather than pulling up).

Misc:
I realize where I live, time of day, demographics of my town, the kind of road I was on, as well as many other factors would play a part. But I was determined to do this 3 times and used my iphone docked in my car to collect the data.

Results:
Car 1 - Swear to god I was waiting for a while and the light turned green. I turned my stop watch on and just fucked around on the passenger seat expecting to get my morning "get the fuck moving" horn nudget in less than a second. It got got up to 10 seconds and NOTHING! At that point I just started driving. Probably from all these years of getting honked at from all the other assholes hanging out with Pissant Prius.

Car 2 - Surely that was a fluke, right? I'll do 100 more of these and that will never happen again no way. Next light, next car, it HAPPENED AGAIN!!!!! It got up to 10 seconds and this time there were cars behind this guy and no honks. From anyone. Everyone just waiting there all nice and un-honky just like they fucking should. But I never they thought they would!

(At this point I put down my window thinking maybe I wasn't hearing them. I swear I did this because I was so shocked at what was occuring).

Car 3 - Last car. At this point in the experiment I've entered what is almost like an episode of the twilight zone. When you start questioning your own senses put down windows for no reason, you know something is fucked. Anyhow third light. I'm waiting. This was was a slightly longer wait than the rest. Dude was scoping me out as I fucked around with a whole lotta nothing on the seat next to me. Okay here we go. Light turns green, I press the stop watch and .....HONK!

I
Didn't
even
get
the
button
pushed.

And my thumb was on it. How's that for skewing my god damn chart of data. Prick.

Results:
1. 10+ seconds no honk
2. 10+ seconds no honk
3. unmeasurable amount of time, less than .0001 seconds, honk received. But just 1 honk. And a little light quiet honk to be specific.

Conclusion:
Some people honk quick, some people don't honk at all. It's pretty black and white when it comes to honking red light impatience.

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rainbow pimp

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 21:30:58 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

What else more could you ask for in a picture? I can right off the bat come up with 5 incredibly awesome things in this photo that have never been met and likely will never be achieved ever as long as photography is an artform.

1. Brain Day's leg is in this photo. Right off the bat that fact alone puts this photo in a class all by itself.

2. The babe is in it in full form- always a plus, especially if I don't fuck it up by getting in the shot with her.

3. Las Vegas and all the colors that go along with it is in the background! I'm not particually good with colors because I fucking can't seem them correctly. I probably screwed up a color or two here in some part of the photo that someone is laughing at. However I really felt this deserved to get immersed in color overload. I spent a while with the main objective of "funky" always with my goal. I even spent time on different parts of the photo with separate layers and filters in PS to achieve the splash color effect. It practically was begging me go color wild. VEGAS BABY!

4. A $30 dollar bag of M&M's is being held by my kid. And I didn't buy it. Nor would I ever and she knows this, hence her very happy look. Not that I'm against M&M's or anything, they rock. I just haven't ever had the financial security to ever justify buying a $30 bag of M&M's. Tracie Taylor actually got them for the babe. I guess it pays off when awesome meets awesome!

5. Brain Day's shadow is in this photo too (in addition to his leg, and the shadow of his leg, and the shadow of his shirt can be made out too!!!)

Some might argue that this could be seen as the perfect picture with those 5 elements in it. Believe me, if you met two brilliant awesome people in one day in vegas and score a $30 dollar bag of M&M's and be within 3 feet of Brain Day's shadow, you'd be sportin' that same huge smile too.

Brian and Tracie were fucking awesome., both of them. We spent a couple hours in Vegas mingling about on the tail end of our adventure back home from the Grand Canyon. It actually was me and the babe's first time in Vegas. Seems like it's all it is cracked up to be but we got the fuck out of dodge before the freaks came out to play.

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pimp canyon

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 12:03:51 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

Okay this is probably the coolest self portrait I captured at the Grand Canyon. I risked my fucking life for you assholes taking this shot. This is not trick photography, I really did go to the edge of a cliff and hang backwards to take this picture. I thought the fact that I had a bird type guy on my chest added for a little more coolness.

Yes, I'm scared of heights.

Off to the races now, it's my birthday today. Word! I'm 34.

Love,
pimpy

Smokey the goddamn snowy ass bear

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 10:47:48 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a video:

Took this video of smokey and my kid in the snow. I promise to hit up your streams and all when i get home. Having too much fun with smokey and all today. We're taking smokey home with us.

My bird epiphany with the arrival of the cocksuckers

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 18:38:28 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a video:

Bliss and a beer at the grand canyon

Good times at the grand canyon!

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 14:28:24 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a video:

I'll have some awesome pictures edited and uploaded when I get home. But I was lucky enough here to capture the "little girl giggle" which was requested by several of you a few months ago. So without further ado: the little girl giggle at the grand canyon!

How many pimps can one picture possibly contain?

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:30:00 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

Due to popular demand, I ain't saying shit.

Well other than this: WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO THE GRAND CANYON. Outtie from this bitch.

See ya on the flip side. Or in our case, the grand side! (I'm a funny guy and you know it).

The photo at hand? Yes it's tilted on purpose. Yes it's various photos in one. How many pimps can you find? Yes I took it with my wide angle lens that I'm renting for the grand canyon. And yes I'm done.

Bye!

Love,
The pimp family

oh pimpy how did you take a picture of the coolest bridge on the planet and pimptify it without actually taking a picture of the bridge itself? more vagina tingling awesomeness for you here. lets call this the underrated section of the golden gate bridge

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 08:06:27 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

PIMP MUSIC VOLUME 13 (special ambient techno edition)

I like music. A lot. I like it so much that I get obsessed with various forms of it at times. And go wild.

Case in point.
3 months ago it was 1920's jazz that led my obsession. You know artists like Annette Hanshaw and Ruth Etting. The people that stole black peoples music and made it white. Fucking bastards.

2 months ago it was classical period of classical music that I loved. Now, whoever the moron is that coined a particular genre of classical music to be "classical" is a god damn idiot. But anyhow in case you were wondering, there is generally I think about five forms of classical music. In chronological order, the Renaissance period (which led us out of the middle ages), the Baroque period, the Cassical period, the Romantic period, and the Modern era (like 20th century onward). Personally I have been obsessed with the "Classical era" of classical music. Genius? You got it. Artists like Mozart and Beethoven were popular during this era.

And for about 2 weeks I was obsessed with 80's hiphop

But that's all history! Because now? I'm obsessed with 90's ambient techno. Is there not a better mix of chill, power, feel, tranquility, mixed in with a stormy orgasm that is something you can fuck to just as easily as you can do your homework to? Or even sleep to? Or even dance to! Or even ride in an elevator to! What a fantastic eclectic genre! I just love it!

The leader here and my personal favorite? Aphex Twin. Richard D James a fucking mad man. He was a revolutionary. But you may argue any of these groups had their lasting influence back in the late 80's/early 90s.

So without further ado, I present to you pimp music volume 13, special ambient techno edition. Feel free to fuck your wife or go jogging or play this in your elevator. It's good for it any of that and more. I tried to make it as accessible as possible and give you a nice general introduction to the genre.

pimp music volume 13 - special edition ten song 90's ambient house/techno edition

CLICK HERE FOR YOUTUBE PLAYLIST

1. Plaid - Object Orient
2. Aphex Twin - We Are The Music Makers
3. Mouse on Mars - Twift Shoeblade
4. The Higher Intelligence Agency - Delta
5. The Orb - Beautiful Day
6. The Future Sound of London - We Have Explosive
7. Boards of Canada - Telephasic Workshop
8. Autechre - Clipper
9. Aphex Twin - Didgeridoo
10. B12 - Hall of Mirrors

AGAIN, CLICK HERE FOR YOUTUBE PLAYLIST

you sandy little pimp. you like to play in the water with all the other little pimps? make a pimp castle? play with your pimp toys in the pimp sand? oh pimpy. you're so musical. oh my GOD! you're making my vagina tingle, is that a FEDORA you're wearing?!

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:20:18 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

I told you school was back in session my silly little pimp-o-holics. Does the pimp lie? Not when he talks in the 3rd person. You know he's excited when he starts gettin' 3rd person on your ass.

Pimp Music School Volume 12 is the craziest edition yet! Oh yes. Oh fuck yes. The pimp loves music. And you love the pimp. Which means we ALL fucking ROCK!

So without further ado, here comes pimp music school volume 12!

In case you're an idiot, here are the instructions (we've added some features):

To play on YOUTUBE: The entire playlist is saved on youtube, you just have to CLICK THIS LINK. <--- that link right there. It plays and it's awesome.

To play on SPOTIFY: This is what the pimp is using these days to listen to music. And the pimp is pretty rad. So this means you're missing out if you aren't on here. Okay well the service is great in theory, but I've found it to be kind of slow over 3G streaming to my iPhone and the search hangs. I'm a no-nonsense kinda pimp. In any case, it's still awesome, especially if you have a desktop computer. And best of all it's free for desktop computer use. If you don't sign up, you simply are missing out on something awesome. Here CLICK THIS LINK is the playlist link you can click on that links you to my spotif playlist for pimp school vol 12.

MORON ALERT (let's review, as a pimp-o-holic you have two choices):

YOUTUBE PLAYLIST LINK ---> RIGHT HERE
or
SPOTIFY PLAYLIST LINK ---> RIGHT HERE

School is now in session.

The photo at hand: a pimp wearing the gem of all hats, on a beach, dancing. Self portrait.

1. It All Depends On You - Annette Hanshaw
2. Here Comes The Hammer - MC Hammer
3. Modern Love Is Automatic - A Flock Of Seagulls
4. Short Skirt/Long Jacket - Cake
5. Sign O' The Times - Prince
6. Straight Outta Compton - N.W.A.
7. Moonlight Sonata: Adagio Sostentuo - Beethoven
8. Puttin' On The Ritz - Harry Richman
9. Good Lovin' - The Young Rascals
10. In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
11. In The Night - Pet Shop Boys
12. Theme From Shindlers List - John Williams
13. Reckoner - Vitamin String Quartet (Radiohead cover)
14. Magic Dance - David Bowie (From the Labyrinth soundtrack)
15. You Should Be Dancing - The Bee Gees
16. Freak Magnet - Violent Femmes
17. More More More - Andrea True
18 . I Can't Go For That - Hall and Oates
19. Real Is A Feeling - Pictureplane
20. Empathy - Crystal Castles
21. Fright Night (Nevermore) - Ariel Pinks Haunted Graffiti (this is the 3rd song I've highlighted from this album because it's fucking so god damn good)

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Um. I have sole custody of this child. (yes. that is some scary shit)

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:30:56 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a video:

Oh yes.

School's back in, pimp-o-holics.

Guess who's back?

HERE COMES THE ~~hammer~~ PIMP...

OH OH OH. OH OH OH. Here comes the ~~hammer~~ pimp... yeah.

news and pimpnotes
I made the minipimp do this.

I know you are salivating over the "Wall Of Fedoras" back there! I actually masturbate while looking at that wall when I'm alone regularly.

I know you had one too. Sorry for the unexpected orgasm. Those fedora's are tricky.

I'm going to post a real picture coming soon. Oh yeah. We're on it. Don't you worry.

Here comes the pimp. (just to remind you). Pimp's back bitches.

Oh by the way, I think I'm going to start calling myself MC Pimp. Ever notice if you throw "MC" before any name it just becomes better? Let's try it!

Barrak Obama = liar, changed nothing, more war, blah blah blah
MC Obama = fuck all that stuff above, he now RULES!

Joel Osteen = um. how about...(let me pray).. um. No?
MC Joel Osteen = Yes. Oh. Fuck brothers and sisters!

Joe Buck = suck a duck, B O R I N G and L A M E
MC Joe Buck = turn the volume UP, less Troy Aikman, more MC Joe Buck!

Tom Brady = nah nah nah nah you just got beat by Eli Manning again LOSER! :-P
MC Tom Brady = oh lookie someone just got cool again! Eli who?

David Hasselhoff = um. Knight Rider anyone?
MC Hasselhoff = now we can't hassle the hoff anymore! Even The Hoff becomes cool with MC thrown in!

Tony3 = father of flickr
MC Tony = father of instagram

Santa Claus is a pimp too

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:08:00 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

The subject of Santa Claus came up the other day on my photo in the comments. Someone asked me why my daughter still believes in the fat man if she no longer receives presents from him.

Just in case you missed it, I wanted to elaborate more on the issue.

To sum it up, Santa will always be real to her. I'm never going to admit it was me. In fact it wasn't me. I'm not admitting it to any of you either.

Why should I?

The magic in Santa Claus isn't receiving his presents when you are a preteen. Lets face it, she is still going to get her Christmas morning and open her gazillion age appropriate toys. They will just be from me instead of Saint Nick. Quite honestly I just didn't want the aggravation of dealing with hiding the whole thing. The older they get, the harder hiding it becomes. The last thing I wanted was for her to find out from catching me in the act.

As a matter of fact I NEVER wanted her to find out. So why risk it any longer?

Getting back to that whole magic thing... I believe the "magic" in Santa Claus is actually the MEMORY of Santa Claus.

It is having memories of every Christmas morning back to as long as you can remember and feeling and remembering the best god damn day of the year. As a kid. As a real fairy tale you were in. Feeling and remembering a time when Santa Claus arrived in his big ol red suit with his 9 reindeers and delivered a bunch of shit to YOUR tree.

Because for me? When I found out that Santa wasn't real, I was devastated. Not for the gifts that I wouldn't be receiving any longer. But rather for the tainted Christmas mornings of years past that at the time of finding out then went from magic to nothing.

Chloé will never feel that. Santa will ALWAYS be real!

I'll never admit it.

In fact Chloé got a letter from the fat man from the north telling her that even though she is too old for his presents, she is still going to receive one present per year that he will hide in the house somewhere every Christmas morning. So eventually when she (I'm assuming?) figures out that Santa probably isn't real, playing the game of finding that one badass Santa gift will still be a fun thing she does.

Santa Claus and her childhood will remain in tact. No reason to take away from it by admitting to something that should remain in her childhood. Not removed from it.

The photo at hand? It's chloe running into the sunset on a beach by Point Reyes I took over the weekend. I kind of flipped the sky and shadow and made it all abstract and shit. I did this because The shadow is clearly the best part of this photo. So I wanted to make is as the main focal point.

Success or failure? Do tell, please.

āįg øerac ętnešßa et mūtnauq

actually thing's are looking up on the other side girl

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:16:38 -0800

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

I'm in a much better place.

Thanks for asking.

I think I'm going to start writing a children's book aimed at pre-teens around Chloé's age. I'm thinking I might use flickr as a place to start the chapters. I've always used this place as a medium for expressing myself. Why not.

Oh and yes the babe is VERY MUCH a pre-teen now. How so?

1. She started taking showers
2. I feel weird if I accidentally touch her non-existent soon to be forming breasts
3. She goes to sleep with the door CLOSED now and isn't scared of the dark anymore
4. My babe likes playing games on the wii (I allow 1 hour per day you fucking video game nazi's don't worry)
5. She wears nail polish (and I put it on for her, booya!)
6. She likes Taylor Swift. (I have clearly failed her in this department)

But wait. She's still a little girl. How do I know this?
1. I give her train rides on my god damn back to breakfast. (she's 100 pounds! Choo choo Holla holla ...)
2. She brings toys INTO her shower. And plays with them.
3. She believes in Santa Claus ... and the Tooth Fairy. But not the Easter Bunny (don't ask, I fucked this one up).
4. She does the little girl giggle (oh how I live the little girl giggle. Maybe I'll record it on a video one day for yous) ((yes I like pluralized yous)). (((Yes I just made up the word pluralized. And I like it))).
5. She plays with her Barbies
6. She hasn't achieved a bloody babespot yet (this is our language for her having her period. Come on, I'm a Daddy, it's the best I can do without her feeling weird talking to me).

I'm still unemployed. However I just enrolled in grad school. I'm happy about this and the change in my life. Things are looking good.

I just booked a trip to the GRAND CANYON next month bitches. Yes not any ol canyon. Not yo mamma's canyon. The god damn GRAND CANYON. This will be me and the babes 6th road trip. Trips in the winter are not only extremely afforable with a non-existent money supply but desirable due to lack of crowds. Pack some trail mix, grad a couple of sleeping bags, an ipod full of 60 gigs of music and a 35 dollar per night hotel for 4 nights and do it. Presidents Day never looked more delicious.

pimpin' ain't easy,
xoxo

occupy pimp

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:09:21 -0700

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

in case anyone actually is wondering, the long awaited hat chronicles followup from the babe/cowboy match on the beach is coming soon. who will the mystery person be? oh baby.

stay tuned! episode 8 coming very soon!

the photo at hand? me smoking a cigarette in San Francisco a few years ago.

No Pimping in SF

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:41:31 -0700

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

apparently I am banned from coming to San Francisco. Damn it!

don't judge a pimp by its cover

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:26:52 -0700

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

Welcome to "the hat chronicles" Season 3 - Episode 7:
pimp week goes out with a bang!

As the sun set yesterday on the 2nd annual pimp week, how would this week be remembered? As the week all pimphood was humiliated by the cowboys antics? Or as the week that the minipimp saved for all the pimpoholics?

The stage was set. The legacy of the second annual pimp week was riding on the result of this match!

MINIPIMP
vs
COWBOY

The cowboy was extremely over confident in his abilities to handle the minipimp without her father around to help. With all the fedoras locked in a cowboy vault, he practically had this thing in the bag.

minipimp however had other plans. To save pimp week from falling into the hands of the cowboy, she had a little secret the cowboy didn't know about. The little pimp girl actually her her OWN fedora hidden away in her doll house just for an occasion like this!

Our camera crew and reporters got center stage as the fight was about to ensue:

cowboy: "YYEEEEHHAWWWWW, let's get it on you limp pimp child. Y'all gonna go DOWNNNN TOWNNNN BROWNNN!!!"
minipimp: "um no. Lookie what I got"
cowboy (confused): "whadda .... no .... IT CAN'T BE!"
minipimp: "oh yeah cowsissy, look what I was hiding from you, my F E D O R A!"
cowboy (trembling): ".... wha......how....... I jus' don' understan how yo............"

BAMN!

...it was on! The minipimp struck the cowboy with several blows to the head with her powerful new pimppunch that lit up her hand like a lightning bolt (courtesy of powers only harnessed while wearing her fedora).

The cowboy had several fairy dust maneuvers that caught even a fedora wearing pimp kid by surprise.

BAMN
POW
WHACK
GWAM
BLOP (think Batman here folks, old Batman)
ZAP
HISS
BOOP

And suddenly .... down went the cowboy!!! The FEDORA was just what the young pimp needed! As he lay on the ground, the young underage pimp family member jumped up in the air. She rested her gaze straight into the confused scared cowboys eyes. She was coming down on him to give him the final blow ...

...just as she was about to finish him off....

...then suddenly she got distracted...

...someone had appeared!....

...to be continued

pimp sign magic

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:05:53 -0700

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

Welcome to "the hat chronicles" Season 3 - Episode 6:
mini strikes back!

With her father the pimp still lost in his old photo stream courtesy of the cowboy, the young minipimp had successfully outran the cowboy and his all his goons to take cover. With all the fedoras officially locked away in a vault somewhere, and all the pimp signs trashed or destroyed, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

"I'll just buy a sharpie at a grocery store with money from my pimpy bank. And then I'll ask for them to give me a paper bag. Then I'll make a pimp sign for myself!", thought the clever little girl.

Of course as we all know a pimp sign is only as pimp as its beholder. But how much more pimp can you get than the freaking minipimp? It was time to show it.

No more feeling sorry for herself. She know she needed to take action! No more crying. No more getting pushed around. It was time to grow up and take charge!

Upon finishing her very first pimp sign by herself without her fathers help, it started to radiate a yellowish glow. She thought that was a little weird. But that didn't stop her...

"Oh, it's on. I can't wait to get my hands on that cowsissy now. I'm gonna make sure pimp week goes out with a bang!" denounced the little girl as she got prepared to face the sinister cowboy.

...to be continued

pee and pimp

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 13:01:34 -0700

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

Welcome to "the hat chronicles" Season 3 - Episode 5:
It can't be, pimps don't cry!

The pimp sign, which is the icon of pimp week, has been trashed, thrashed, and discarded among the city streets by the cowboy and his associates. Rats are using them in sewers for row boats chanting "yeewwawweeech". People are using them to pick up dog shit from the ground while walking their pets. There have even been several reported arrests for some hardcore pimpoholics while trying to protest using their pimp picket sign in front of city hall.

How about minipimp? Surely she could do something. She is a member of the pimp clan afterall, right? Our camera crew caught the distressed little person crying by a night club called the "The Wild West" (formally called Party Pimps).

Reporter: "little pimp, can we have a moment of your time? What do you think of the latest cowboy attempts to rid the world of pimp signs, DURING pimp week? "

minipimp:"Waaaaaaaa. Get away!!! I bet you like the cowboy and not the pimps"

Reporter:"Ms. Pimp, we are non-biased news organization. Why is this pimp sign trashed up in the gutter like this? Is this your pim..........." (cut off)

minipimp:"SHUT UP!!! I found this pimp sign just like this while I was running from the cowboy earlier. And when I went to pick it up, it smelled like pee and poop"

Reporter:"....my condolences minipimp. Where is your father during this complete mockery of pimp week?"

minipimp:"The cowboy said he warped my daddy over to the old stream, whatever that means. I don't even know. I want my daddy and more importantly, I need my fedora!"

Reporter:"...wait. So you're saying if you had your fedora, you would regain some of your pimp powers???"

minipimp:"it wouldn't be as effective as me and my daddy together. But think of it as a Care Bear stare kind of deal, okay?"

Reporter:"I see"

minipimp:"But it doesn't matter, because all fedoras have been collected by the cowboy and are GONE! Just leave me alone. Waaaaaaa"

My god! Has the world gone mad? Piss and shit smeared on pimp signs in the gutter? What can the mini do without her father? Not even one stinkin' fedora to help her do anything. This is quite the predicament!

...to be continued

who exactly is the pimpeon general?

nobody@flickr.com (pimpdisclosure) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:30:31 -0700

pimpdisclosure posted a photo:

ubermummy asked me to do a picture that conceptually means "fuck cancer". So this is what I came up with.

5 fedoradollars for anyone who can spot where I displaced my eye. It's very hard to find yet I placed an entire fucking eye ball from guy on the right in a different part of the picture.

More "hat chronicles" stuff tomorrow. I think minipimp might have a little something up her sleeve. Or will the cowboy get one over on her? It is rumored there will be another character possibly returning from the pimps past. Oh my!

I am celebrating pimp week by getting people to hold pimp signs on the street. I'll post them all sunday.

Bye!