Uploads from Manhattan Girl, tagged black

"time to clean out some of my trash. "

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:04:39 -0700

The recent ending of a very dear friendship has me taking a long hard look at myself.
And not the kind in the mirror.
A deeper look...
Into who I really AM.

Into how I see myself versus how others see me
b e c a u s e
they are not matching up.

I expect a lot from people. I hold them to a very high standard. I am too intense and demanding.

People don't like that. Especially friends.
I don't allow people to just be themselves. I don't go with the flow and let what is to come-come.

I get upset if they aren't calling me back, which now having it pointed out to me by
my ex friend, can see that it made him feel guilty.

That was never my intention. I just missed him. And when I put a lot into a friendship, I expect my friend to do the same.

But there's that word again..."expect."

Many great teachers and new age spiritualists today are all about not having any expectations. They say it's more freeing and I can see that in my mind. Just getting it to connect to my heart is a struggle.

I need to ask myself some hard questions.

The last thing my estranged bitch of a sister ever said to me was "You're just too hard to be around Shelly."

My ex who cheated said the same thing and now essentially a dear friend of mine just said it.

So I have to ask myself..."AM I hard to be around?"

I came up with something last night soul searching while lying awake in bed, tears falling down my pillow.

I am a badger. I badger people. Maybe not in the aggressive sense of the word, but I do it.

So I started to think of an animal that is opposite of a badger and came up with a dolphin.

I love dolphins. They are peaceful, happy, kind, non-confrontational and only attack on the defensive.

I am going to try and work on my inner dolphin.

I am heart broken over this recent loss.
The wound is deep, but I am trying to use it.

To delve deep and figure out why I am so much like my mother, of whom I loathe.

I so want to be a "go with the flow" spirit.

I have a lot of work to do.

I will miss you my dear friend. More than words can say. I hate that you said goodbye to me...

but now it's time for me to do some changing. To clean out my trash.

hunted.

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 13:56:47 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

when I get stressed sometimes I color

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 08:02:25 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

This is from my daughters Hello Kitty coloring book.

she knew he would come for her tonight

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 15:01:39 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

"don't go into the woods tonight Laura..."

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 13:20:51 -0700

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

"she had no idea what would happen once she went inside, but it was calling to her." SK~

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Sun, 29 May 2011 16:27:33 -0700

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

this was where she belonged.

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 07:43:03 -0700

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

hers were the only lights ever left on...

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 06:32:26 -0700

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

spray paint graffiti and stickers

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 14:20:22 -0700

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

View Large On Black cuz it's cool

walk this way.

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 05:19:15 -0700

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

Available for purchase here: www.redbubble.com/mybubble/art/5021671-1-walk-this-way/edit

View Large On Black

the Dude abides at 'Two boots pizza and video'

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 17:55:36 -0700

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

Queensboro Bridge peeking thru taxi window

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 03:26:07 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

microscopic lighting

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:52:43 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

SOOC. Off center on purpose! ;)

Corner Cafe & Bakery

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 17:23:03 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

Choose

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:26:16 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

snow on the side of my building

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 14:26:26 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

C's

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:57:45 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

leave me the fuck alone already~

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:36:12 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

Available for purchase here: www.redbubble.com/people/shellykay/art/4957599-1-leave-me...

just a corner in my neighborhood

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:40:05 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

Queen and her royal court~

nobody@flickr.com (Manhattan Girl) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:13:14 -0800

Manhattan Girl posted a photo:

Window display. 5th Avenue. NYC.