Uploads from ZeeBam

And at once I knew I was not magnificent (...And I could see for miles, miles, miles.)

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Sun, 19 May 2013 15:35:58 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Holocene; Bon Iver
_ _

I feel like everything is falling right where I need it to be. All the things I've wanted these past few months were just thrown into my lap. I honestly could not be happier with the road that I'm on. When I was younger I used to cry myself to sleep; thinking over and over...
"Things will get better. They have to. ..nothing this bad lasts forever."

Oh, how right I was..
And you know what? *I* did this.
I changed my stars.
I brought myself to where I am now.
And I don't think I've ever been so proud of myself as I am right in this very moment..

“Only after disaster can we be resurrected.
It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.
Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart.”

-fight club

♥

I draw this line and hope you'll take my side.. (breathe slow, breathe slow)

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 16:52:36 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: To A Friend; Alexisonfire
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I wonder if this feeling really could last forever.
I think it could; it feels like it could..

And there will be no tenderness, no tenderness...

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 21:47:40 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Hatefuck; The Bravery
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It was my first day as an assistant manager.
So, of course, it was only fitting that we get audited. ;P

I came home stressed. and tired. and completely caught up in my own head. Of course Ross saw this. And he rubbed my things. He listened- giving me the space I needed. And when I finally let him in he handed me my collar, tied my hands behind my head to it, and took all control from me.
He used me, and I enjoyed every second of it.
I felt relaxed; content.

Being a whore is coming home for me.

I want, I want, I want....

This.
Forever.
And Ever.

♥

/ / /

First two, same. Reflection of friend + swimming seal.
Third, me. Last day at my old apartment.

/love

And we will burst inside these borders, clinging tight to these ideas..

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:32:59 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Things We Have In Common; Danielle Ate the Sandwich
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I've so grown to love capturing these things..

And I'm breaking at the britches, and at the end of all your lines...

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:35:38 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Skinny Love; Bon Iver
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There's a history of mental illness in his family.
My mother went insane to the point of institutionalization [my childhood being most of this].
Tonight, though, I held him tightly and promised I'd try to stay with him if this is ever is to happen.
...I'd try like hell. Tears welled up in his eyes as he clung to me..

It's one thing to think and know someone would go against everything they've grown to hate for you.
It's another thing entirely to hear they would do so from their own lips..

I wouldn't have told him had I not meant it. I've never loved this way before. My chest swells and collapses thinking of everything he is and can be for me, and I find myself feeling more alive than I ever have before because of it..

I feel absolutely lost in him today..

♥

/ / /

The Detroit zoo. ::smiles::

If I could go back then (back when) and step into the past (way back), I'd do it all again.. (again)

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 16:02:35 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Stupidass; Watsky
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Watsky was had again! He came to Ann Arbor for his second tour evers, and it was fuckingINCREDIBLE. ♥

I'm definitely seeing him every chance I can.
And, hopefully, each time I do I turn into less and less of a fangirl.

X]

/ / /

Ugly faces were made in honor of his song! ;]

Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts, and you’re in fight or flight mode..

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 15:43:23 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: People II: The Reckoning; Andrew Jackson Jihad
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Pittsburgh ~ 3/31/13

/ / /

Ilovethis&him♥

So this is it, the feeling that I've missed ..A subtle kind of pain that keeps me from sleep.

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 15:37:52 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: The Taste, The Touch; Asteria
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Talking about how I accepted the "death" of my mother brought someone to tears last night. I've never gotten a response like this before. I really didn't know quite what to do.
[ Usually it's them that feels the uncomfortable unknowing..]

It would also seem our talk triggered a bit of craziness that was hiding inside of him,
so I really don't know what to do here.

::throws hands up::

On another note, I accepted a promotion-
Dear Bettina, I do believe you're succeeding at this little thing we call life..

::smilesbig::

/ / /

The Incline in Pittsburgh at night. ♥

If I told you my secret would you swear to keep it?

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:38:00 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: The Taste, The Touch; Asteria
_ _

Pittsburgh ~ 3/30/13

With no velocity and empty-headed hard and far-too-long.. I spent two years alone with you.

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:34:12 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: My Favorite Accident; Motion City Soundtrack
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Pittsburgh ~ 3/29/13

Without the reign of terror over every momentary change, we are exactly as before..

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:32:32 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: My Favorite Accident; Motion City Soundtrack
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Pittsburgh ~ 3/29/13

And there's always some way to make a silence be spoken..

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:30:12 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: The Warning; Hot Chip
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Pittsburgh ~ 3/29/13

Excuse me child, I am trying to see all the colours of wonder your brightness can be.

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:28:56 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: The Warning; Hot Chip
_ _

Pittsburgh ~ 3/29/13

I know you never meant to, but you do. Oh, but you do..

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 07:58:55 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Sway; The Kooks
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Awake again and wondering where we're going in all of this. I feel the urge to flee with him this morning. And if I were a different person I'd do so and never look back.. We'd conquer the world together, and want for nothing but each other.

It would be completely right in the most beautiful of ways.

"Let's make the world jealous.."

/ / /

My exploration of the bridges in Pittsburgh. ♥

I took the 405, drilled a stake down into your center, and stated that it's never ever been better than this..

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 22:38:36 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: 405 (acoustic); Death Cab for Cutie
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I spent the entire day as a pirate wandering around the zoo & all over town..

My life has never been more fantastic. I've never felt so content with a person in my life. Anything I think I'll ever want for, I feel confident he can give me. I want this- what I have- to last as long as humanly possible. And I'm going to fight like hell to make this wish my reality.

You wanna know what I wished for?
"Sure."
...Us to grow old together.

"That's a really good wish..."

♥

/ / /

At the underwater arctic exhibit at the zoo..
He holds me like he's never touched another human being in his life.

There aren't words enough to express just how simply incredible it is to feel this..

And everywhere I go there's always something to remind me, where love that traveled far had found me..

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 21:51:59 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Remind Me; Röyksopp
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I love this- Our bed.
It was a gift for us; a gift for the start of our lives together.
And it's proven again and again that it could not be more perfect.

::smiles::

/ / /

Back in time again.

(I'll catch up, I swear!)

Throw your arms around my neck, I won't be soon to forget..

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 21:42:28 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Untitled (Love Song); Romany Rye
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This was taken earlier this year when I spent an evening as a gypsy with the Ross. -I want to share everything all at once, and I'm trying to catch up for everyone. It's proving to be rather difficult.. *huffs*

There are soooo many new, wonderful things in my life.
And this year is proving to be close to as good as the last.

♥

/ / /

It was snowing and the middle of winter when I did this.
Solution to the cold? Socks that go allll the way up..

;]

"Nothing is certain. Not even death."

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 21:33:03 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Quote/title: Anita Blake; Laurell K. Hamilton
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Alt ~ 1

I feel like black and white always wins out over color. I also feel like the two are always entirely different photos, and that making such a decision is next to impossible.

Thus, my "alt" ...if you could even call it that.
The tables would be turned had things been slightly different.

;P

/ / /

Opinions vs the two would be welcomed and nice.
::smiles::

Come fly down, like a singing bird. Black and white, I am still the same..

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 08:10:21 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Bullets; Augustana
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Life has a way of throwing me into things headfirst sometimes.

I ended up going to see Arden at work yesterday with Klaire. It was completely unplanned, and when I pulled into the parking lot and saw his car it felt like my heart had jumped into my throat. Part of me had hoped he wouldn't be there, and part of me had. I didn't want to do any of it. I just wanted him to stop being a fucking asshole and TALK to me.

I was shaking and felt smaller than I think I've ever felt in my life when he came up to me.
I was sad. and angry. and all I could ask him was ..."Why?"
Multiple reasons, it would seem...

He missed me.
He was afraid he'd still be attracted to me.
And girlfriend. [ the main cause ]

She didn't like me, but couldn't explain why. And I hated this. I hate that I lose friends to shit like this. I just don't understand people. ..I expect them to be like me, and they almost never are. And I get confused and sad and disappointed over and over with it.

But we talked, Arden and I.
He left work, we sat on furniture in best buy,
and we talked until I was sure it wouldn't be the last time.

[ we shall see ]

/ / /

This. ♥

I said, "It's hot outside, let me go swimming in your eyes.."

nobody@flickr.com (ZeeBam) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 09:34:09 -0700

ZeeBam posted a photo:

Music/title: Lay Me Down; The Dirty Heads
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Apparently my newly found friend, Klaire, has been talking about me with her friends.
And apparently whatever she is saying is making me stalk-worthy to a few of them.
And APPARENTLY the results are that I'm 'beautiful'.

This girl makes my day on a regular basis.
I've needed this- her.
I feel like things keep falling farther and farther into place in my life.
More so than I ever thought possible.

It's unnervingly wonderful.

::smilesbig::

/ / /

Bridge entering the city. I never want to go in any other way. ♥