Uploads from lauren rushing, with geodata

edit the sad parts

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Wed, 09 May 2012 19:10:03 -0700

silk petals of tears drop on the wooden floor.
soaking up dust
and sleep from
the night before.
angels breath keeps
the sheets c o l d .
the branches outside
scratch for so much more
but all i have are these
silk petals of tears drop on the wooden floor.

Silence

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Thu, 03 May 2012 18:20:07 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Listen
So I walked into the haze
And a million dirty ways
Now I see you lying there
Like a lilo losing air air

Black rocks and shoreline sand
Still that summer I cannot bear
And I wipe the sand from my eyes
Spanish sahara the place that you´d wanna
Leave the horror here
Forget the horror here
forget the horror here
Leave it all down here
It's future rust and then it´s future dust
Forget the horror here
forget the horror here
Leave it all down here
It's future rust and then it´s future dust

Now the waves they drag you down
Carry you to broken ground
Though I find you in the sand
Wipe you clean with dirty hands

Inspired by sopranosflight

Sitting Here

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 11:36:20 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

listen.
Press L.

I'd just like to tell you all, "Thank you". I've never had so much support from anyone, and having someone show me support through the internet is even more of a challenge. So, I applaud you all. I can't thank you enough. For all the nice comments and messages lately, I couldn't be any happier.

Here I Am

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 19:14:20 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

This photo is dedicated to my dear friend, Logan. He has kept me through photography more than anyone else. He has supported me from the very beginning, and has helped contribute criticism more than any friend has. He isn't doing well right now. And maybe not right now, and maybe not tonight..but sometime soon..please. Please pray for him. I would greatly appreciate this and I'm more than sure he would as well. It would mean so much. I can't thank you enough for all the love I get from you all.

Sorry about the tired expressions. I woke up right before I took this. Press L, please.

the troubles cling to my chest,
just as the pen does to the paper,
and i continue to leave my thoughts
hanging off a pedestal.

The Darkest Side

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 19:26:16 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Press L.
I'm sorry for all the massive uploads. I'm starting to enjoy photography a lot more now. I guess you could say this was semi inspired by Noah Sahady. But obviously the man has much more talent, and a more artistic eye.

Today has been such a long day. I'm trying to enjoy it.

Love
It’s the air in your mother’s lungs
When her fathers tore her fences down
Plastic bags and the panadol was out

3/52

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 14:18:50 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Press L, please.
My body is aching
and my mind is
torn.
It was so hard.
Living that way for several years,
I don't see how I'm alive.
But I'm thankful.
And I'm moving on.
Or for now, I'll try.

One breath at a time

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 10:38:32 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Press L
In and out
my lungs speak to me
and so does my heart.
They tell me things
could be fine
if I allow them to be.
My anxiety has hit
10 on the scale
of 1 through 10.
In and out,
one breath at a time,
and I still collapse.
The room is silent
and I hear knocking
on the front door.
But moving now,
just feels too much.

I'm home

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 17:34:22 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

I'm home. Press L
This is another from my trip to Austin. I had a good time. I learned so much, and I'm so thankful for this.
It's a lot like yesterday's. But, I'm okay with that for now.

I was gone. For four days, and I'm finally back. It gave me a chance to breathe and to focus on what was needed. You see, I'm not sure what I'm going through. I'm not completely sure why I do the things I do. But, just as any teenager, I'm experiencing so many things. I notice a lot more at this age. The way my pulse moves, how big the bruise, and even what I want in time. I'm growing up, and I believe a lot of use forget that. Forget that we will go through things and adapt to new places, and emotions. We grow, and that's why we live.

Right Now

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 20:20:42 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

She just walked in. She told me something, and the first thing that came to mind, were my chills and my anger. I didn’t want to hear anything nor feel the door open. But, it did. As the door slammed, so did my mind. It was trapped and I couldn’t find the strength to move myself. At all.
But now, I’m laying here and thinking of all the wrong I’ve done in the last six years.
I’ve betrayed my family. I’ve turned into my father. I’ve forgotten my mother. I’ve let go of my brother. I lost my securities. I lost all that meant most.
When I lost it all, I lost it hard.
The room is dark now.
I sit here, and throw the things that meant most.
My books, my paintings, my pictures, my angel from above.
All is on my floor.
Including myself.
I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t know why it is that I keep thinking of these things. I was only twelve years old. I thought I could better myself.
But I worsened myself. I’m so sick. I can’t help but to think of all the things I did to myself and not regret it. I want it all over again. It was my place to feel different. To FEEL something different was all I craved for.
The addiction I loved.

But people are ripping me apart right when I let ripping myself apart, end.

I remember walking home from school, and tearing everything off, and scream.I would scream because no one would be home.

No one could hear me.
And I enjoyed that feeling.
Being alone and expressing myself in the ways I wanted to.
I would get so excited. Maybe too excited.
Friends would help me, but then they left me.
They couldn’t handle my insecurities.
They couldn’t see me suffer any longer.
And now, it’s been six years.
I don’t see you or acknowledge you.
I don’t know how that makes you feel, but I know you see me changing.

After I examine myself in the mirror, I would run into my room and sleep from that point on to the next morning.
You told me to outgrow these habits.
You told me my thoughts were wrong.
But little did you know, was me.
You had no idea who I was or what I did.

And now, I’m laying in my bed, six years later.
And I feel it all coming back.

She told me to feel happy, and she has no idea how hard that can be.

Now.. Press L.

You

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 10:33:08 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Tumblr.
Press L
The grass remains soft
Just like your skin
And things seem so pure.
When it begins to rain,
The grass becomes soaked.
Just like your thoughts
And things seem so unsure.
When the sky turns clear,
The rain finally leaves.
With wind crashing,
The sun hitting our knees.

Sorry, this is another from yesterday.

22/30

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Tue, 03 May 2011 13:37:05 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Listen.
As the ocean sings it's beauty through out the waves, the sun rises. And when the sun rises, the people shine. For it's beauty, is a masterpiece. It was this morning that I drove carelessly because I was careless. I was careless because my mind has put me in a different body. A body who wants to escape. A body who wants to leave this place. But I thank Him and I thank Angie for all the support I have gotten. I've grown up. Not even 18 years of age, but I can tell you I'm an adult. I may have my rants and I may have my fits, but that is completely normal in this generation. I've grown up because I had to. If I could take back my troubles and my worries, I wouldn't for anything. Because this is what mad me grow and I'm ever so thankful.

People focus on how terrible their day is, and try to find this pattern that keeps reoccurring for them. But it's their mind set, that subject they keep focusing on, that keeps them angry and upset.

If I continue to think about Easter, I get upset at myself when knowing I shouldn't.
If I continue to think about my Mother, falling down the stairs with bruises up her spine, I get upset at myself when knowing I shouldn't.
If I continue to think about the family vacations I never got to experience, I get upset at myself when knowing I shouldn't.

I'm angry at myself more and more each day. This is natural, though. Please realize this. What we experience may hurt, but it is COMPLETELY natural.

To lose your mother to alcohol your whole entire life, is natural.
To be scared of walking through your own bedroom door, is natural.
To not exist anymore, is natural.
To break free, is natural.

Though others may think we are wrong for this, truth is, they are wrong and naive.

We can overcome this. I can overcome this. I promise you this. And I always keep my promises.

"First of all, your photos are incredible. One day, it is my wish, to be as good as you are. Each picture is amazing and I probably keep saying the same things all the time, but it's always true. I'm in awe and your new upload is honestly the one thing i look forward to see on flickr the most each day.
If you ever write a book, and i'm sure you will, it will have the best cover if it's your picture and i want to have that book on my shelve, with your autograph and one of the amazing things you always write to me inside. with some of your prints all around it. i would read it before i go to sleep, because it would be where my heart is, it would be something that makes me happy and sad at the same time, something that makes me cry and smile. something that leaves me speechless.something that tells your story, my story, story of each person. just like your descriptions already do.
you are truly beautiful person, Lauren. inside and out. remember it.
your heart will never stop amaze me, thank you for sharing it here. you are amazing person and i love you just from the few things i know about you. i always keep you in my prayers and you've been on mind every day lately. i'm sure you make everyone around happy, you make me happy just by letting me know you through your words and photos.
and also, your beauty leaves me breathless. really! you are the most beautiful girl i've seen.
and there is so much more i'd like to tell you. but this is all i could write now. you are my inspiration."

It is women like this that remind me of all the good people out there.

19/30

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 20:59:16 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Today I thought a lot about Angie. I thought of all the good things she has brought into my life. Good expectations, good views, it's a total turn around for me. I have friends who have hurt me and abandoned me. But she has stuck around since day one. God has blessed us all with a close one, and I thank Him everyday for having her be apart of my life. Especially in this moment.

This pictures isn't going to have some deep meaning to it or some long explanation on how I feel at this moment. But today was very nice as you can see by Tyler's beauty. Tyler and I bought disposable cameras and took pictures. Later on, we went to a dance recital with our dear friend, Trent.

And trust me Angie, Trent and I miss you dearly.

10 things

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 16:47:26 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

older brother, restless soul, lie down
lie for a while with your ear against the earth
and you'll hear your sister sleep talking
These are going to be ten things that I feel like I should share with a few people I care about. I hope you guys know who each are.

1. You are something I will miss. I can't comprehend how I handle with things now. It's hard to know how alone I will be feeling next year. It's even harder to know that I knew this was coming. I'm praying for us, though. I feel something so close. We have been connected for over three years. There are things I feel with you that I never have felt before. You are so dear to me. I've never meant "I love you" to anyone else, as I do to you.

2. You keep me whole. You bring me up when I am at worst. You understand me, and I'm so grateful for that. You continue to spread your love and live hope throughout my home. I can't thank you enough for your friendship. You brought me closer to Him and to photography. I feel so terrible compared to you, but God is helping me through that. You deserve all the love in the world. I will be praying for you until the day you leave. You are my guardian angel, and this I believe.

3. You are a fantastic friend. I'm so thankful to have you in my life. You will help me at all times, and I'm so relieved to know you are finally happy. You are such a gift in this chaos. Thank you for being a brother to me.

4. I'm very happy to know you are new in my life. You give me hope at times when I thought they never existed. You will always be accepted by me, and never think otherwise. You are such a gift. You will get through this next year. I have high hopes for you. Thank you for your new friendship.

5. I'm craving to meet you. You have brought me amazing advice, and I value your long distant friendship so much. I will pray for us to meet. You are a beautiful girl, with an amazing heart.

6. Things will get better. I promise you this. It takes time. Such a long time. We're still having to go through it. We all do. This is life, and we continue to grow. Things feel tough, and we feel bad at times. Even on those lonely nights, when you feel empty. You have good intentions. You are so much better than others. We have been through a lot with this short friendship. There was a lot that was not clear. I am very happy to know that we got to talk through it. I will keep having faith in you, because someone needs that. Everyone does. And if it's me that has to be that person for you, I'd be more than happy to. You will get better.

7. You have seen me at my worst. You have felt my anger, and seen it as well. I don't regret how I reacted, because it was completely natural. Emotions are natural, and I'm starting to figure that out. You have gone through a rough year. I couldn't handle this how you are doing. I'm happy to be here for you, and I'm happy to see you getting better. On your own. That is such an accomplishment. Realize you are loved, please. So many care. Let them care while they can. The feeling of losing those is awful. I would know.

8. We were very close. We are always on and off friends. I don't understand much of it, but we still connect. You aren't close to faith anymore, but I miss that relationship you have with Him. Even me. You seemed so much happier, and even felt free. But, I understand times are rough. But, understand you should never give up. You are an incredible person. Thank you for asking me for my opinions. It reminds me that you care. You still contain the same warm heart, and forever I will be thankful for that. Thank you for never letting go of your morals. You are so inspirational.

9. I don't know how to handle you at times. I've given up on you. Thankfully, you'll never read this. Even if you did, it's too late.

10. I never forgot about you, but I remember how terribly you would treat me. As a human being, or even as a friend, it was awful. This is why I don't want to start over again.

Turning Tables

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 20:15:18 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Press L
I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you, ooh
Where love is lost, your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no I will never be knocked down

2/52

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 16:22:29 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Day 2.
Press L

I want to

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 18:25:18 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

I'm so frustrated. I want to do a 52 project. I do so badly. But, I also want to just upload more pictures as well. Everyday. And I don't know how long it would go. I'm so confused at this moment.

I'm crawling under my dad's truck, keeping one leg cold on the rocky cement. I'm noticing the specks of dust and the animal's tracks around me.

The wind blows, and I hear her breathing. She's finally awake, and so am I.

As I crawled under my dad's truck, I noticed I was alone. That feeling, that moment, was okay though.

The wind continues to blow, and the moon keeps me warm. In this long distance I will travel, I know that this is home.

I continue to stare around me, the rust is covered all over me now.

I'm crawling into places just to find my happiness.

And that's okay, though.

Let me be

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 12:23:00 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

This is it
I’ll meet with him.
The last time.
The last time.
I dance like this,
Dance like this.
I dance like this,
Dance like this.

A golden thread I spin.
I danced like this,
For me.
For me.
For me.
For me.

Don’t fool me in,
Don’t fool me in.
Let me be.

This is it.
I’ll meet with him.
The last time,
Last time.
I danced like this,
Danced like this.
I dance like this,
Dance like this.
A golden thread I spin.
I dance like this for me.
For me.
For me.
For me.

Don’t fool me in
don’t fool me in
Let, let me be.

I came home. I was exhausted. And as I heard my camera's shutter continue, I stopped, at let it be natural. This is me completely natural. Tired, alone, and content.

Summer Skin

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 18:34:58 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

I suggest pressing L!

Squeaky swings and tall grass
The longest shadows ever cast
The water's warm and children swim
And we frolicked about in our summer skin

I don't recall a single care
Just greenery and humid air
Then Labor day came and went
And we shed what was left of our summer skin

On the night you left I came over
And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders
Our brand new coats so flushed and pink
And I knew your heart I couldn't win
Cause the seasons change was a conduit
And we left our love in our summer skin

Stars and Sons

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 17:51:50 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

Listen.
Press L!

I'm in this room, alone and restless.
I'm covered by sheets of lies and less than perfect thoughts.
I'm showing myself to the world to finally feel something.
I cover my skin with old clothes that bring new memories.
I decide to leave the television off and keep my music playing.
The notes hum and I hear the chimes.
My skin aches.
My body chills.
My legs turn into stone.
I'm living, yet I feel so empty.
I'm hearing shouts all throughout the house, now.
I decide to turn the television on, and to turn the music louder.
The notes are racing, and so is my heart's beat.
My skin tightens.
My body shakes.
My legs hide throughout the sheets.

17/30

nobody@flickr.com (lauren rushing) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 12:26:49 -0700

lauren rushing posted a photo:

I'm falling into another one's shadow. As we travel the gravel, I begin to get lost. I'm out of this shadow now and back into my own.